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ONE OF THE THINGS I DID TO HELP PASS TIME IN SCHOOL
WAS CALCULATE VALUES FOR RANDOM STUFF. IT STARTED
OUT WITH HOW MANY MORE MINUTES OF SCHOOL I'D HAVE
TO ENDURE BEFORE ADULTHOOD, BUT EVENTUALLY I BEGAN
ESTIMATING THINGS LIKE HOW MUCH OF A GIVEN BODILY
FLUID A PERSON MIGHT PRODUCE IN A LIFETIME; IT'S DECEPTIVELY SIMPLE TO ROUGH OUT THESE FIGURES
WITHOUT A CALCULATOR OR EVEN PEN AND PAPER. JUST
MAKE AN EDUCATED GUESS, ROUND IT OFF TO THE NEAREST
CONVENIENT NUMBER, AND ALTERNATE BETWEEN ROUNDING
UP AND DOWN AS YOU GO ALONG. HERE'S AN EXAMPLE:; LET'S ASSUME THE AVERAGE PERSON PRODUCES 40OZ OF URINE A DAY.
I DON'T KNOW HOW ACCURATE THAT IS BUT IT SEEMS REASONABLE; CALCULATING URINE PRODUCED IN A YEAR WOULD MEAN MULTIPLYING
THAT VALUE BY 365.25. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! BESIDES,
GALLONS IS A MORE IMPRESSIVE UNIT FOR THE FINAL FIGURE, AND THERE
ARE 128OZ PER GALLON--ROUGHLY 3X40. IF IT TAKES ~3 DAYS TO MAKE
A GALLON OF PEE, DIVIDE 360 BY 3 AND HEY PRESTO, THE AVERAGE
PERSON PRODUCES AROUND 120 GALLONS OF PEE EACH YEAR. NEAT! NOW MULTIPLY 120 BY 75 OR SO TO REFLECT AN AVERAGE LIFESPAN
AND YOU GET 9,000. TO DO THIS SIMPLY, MULTIPLY 120 BY .75 OR,
PUT ANOTHER WAY, FIND 3/4 OF 120. THEN ADD BACK THE 2 ZEROS
YOU TOOK AWAY WHEN YOU SUBSTITUTED .75 FOR 75. IT HELPS A
LOT TO THINK IN TERMS OF FRACTIONS, AND TO REMEMBER THAT
SIMPLICITY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN PRECISION IN THESE
POINTLESS MENTAL EXERCISES; 9,000 GALLONS IS THE CAPACITY OF A DECENT SIZE SWIMMING
POOL. NOT BAD! BUT HOW MUCH URINE DOES THE ENTIRE HUMAN
POPULATION PRODUCE EACH DAY? WE'VE ALREADY BALL-PARKED DAILY
URINE OUTPUT PER CAPITA AT 40OZ, OR ~1/3 GALLON. SO, WHAT'S 1/3
OF 8 BILLION? SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 2 AND 3. CLOSER TO 3, BUT MANY
OF THOSE HUMANS ARE STILL WEE TOTS WHOSE WEE OUTPUT IS WAY
WEAKER THAN THEIR PARENTS, SO WE'LL CALL IT 2.5 BILLION. COOL! AN
OLYMPIC SWIMMING POOL HOLDS 660,000 GALLONS. TO MAKE THE
NEXT CALCULATION EASIER WE'LL ROUND 660,000 TO AN EVEN MILLION.
IT'S PRETTY EASY TO CALCULATE THAT 1,000,000 GOES INTO
2,500,000,000 EXACTLY 2,500 TIMES, BUT SINCE 1,000,000 IS ABOUT
50% MORE THAN 660,000, WE NEED TO ADJUST FOR IT BY INCREASING
2,500 BY 50% AS WELL. EASY ENOUGH: TAKE HALF OF 2,500 (1,250) AND
ADD IT TO 2,500 TO GET SOMETHING BETWEEN 3,700 AND 3,800. AGAIN,
PRECISION ISN'T ALL THAT IMPORTANT. AS LONG AS YOU DON'T MULTIPLY
WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIVIDED OR VICE VERSA, YOUR FIGURES WILL
LAND IN THE BALL PARK; CALCULATING THAT EACH DAY HUMANS PRODUCE ENOUGH URINE TO
FILL APPROXIMATELY 3,750 OLYMPIC SWIMMING POOLS ISN'T USEFUL,
ASIDE FROM HELPING TO PASS SOME OTHERWISE TEDIOUS TIME IN
CLASS, BUT PRACTICING SPLITTING AND MASHING DIFFERENT
FRACTIONS AND RATIOS IS A SURPRISINGLY USEFUL (AND FUN) SKILL
