NARRATOR: And so, after Phil the Crusader realized that the hellish screaming coming from next door was just a really creepy Inquisitor inflicting a casual torture session with a heretic AND NOT some screwed-up weirdo masochistically pleasuring himself with a bent metal pipe wrapped in rusty chains for Slaanesh-posting online, Phil resumed filling up his cup with some more root beer so he could go back to his table to eat his Baconator and large order of fries awaiting him within the dining room at Space-Wendy's, cheery that the torture is going well.
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