I wrote this copypasta myself:
I'm a professional Balls Bandit, Testicles Thief, Ballock Banditov, Gonads grafter, Stones Shoplifter, Foreskin Sniper, Balls Brigant, Cojones Crook, Sausage Swindler, Willy Hijacker, Phallis Fincher, Peter Purloiner, Weenie Heister, Shlong Swindler, Pecker Plunderer, Johnson Clipper, Cock Kleptomaniac, Board Buccaneer, Putz Pickpocket, Peter Pillager, Richard Rustler, Cock Crook, Tool Taker, MaleGenitalia Murderer, Manhood Marauder, Tool Taker, Trebuchet Thug, Pecker Pecker, and a Member Mugger.