Just asking

It is a social contract. There is a misconception that sex and gender are the same. Sex is what cissexist refer to as "what is in your pants". Gender is what YOU identify as. For example, Mt sex is male but my gender is non-binary. What makes a man a man is not what is in his pants, its what he says what makes him a man. Whether that is the clothes he wears or its just how he feels. If he feels like a man, he is a man!

What I can’t understand about that is what makes a man feel like a man. For an example what makes a Christian a Christian is the fact that they believe and follow Christian teachings. But that’s where my confusion with gender comes in because there’s no standard for what determines gender. Another example is that we have physical breed standards to determine a Rottweiler from a Chihuahua. But a good counter to that would be in Holland’s KNPV BRN breed registration a dog that was 38% Malinois, 12% Dutch Shepherd, 15% Rottweiler, 20% German Shepherd, and 15% Dobermann would most likely simply count as a Malinois even if it did not meet the physical standards nor genetic standards, but still the temperamental standards. But the thing with gender is we don’t have any temperamental standard nor physical standards. So that’s my problem with self-identity is the question is “What are you identifying as”. So for an example the term “tomboy” typically implies a biological female who identifies as a girl, but enjoys things that are traditionally considered “masculine”. I can understand that because you’re saying you have a lack of interest in things traditionally associated with your sex, but with gender identity you’re saying you are a boy rather than saying you simply relate more to the standard set to males. So I feel we need to make some sort of standardized test that would measure masculinity and if you score within the 70 ≥ percentile you’re a man, if you score in the ≤30 percentile you’re a woman, ans if you score within the 31st-69th percentile you’re non-binary. There’s a lot of different genders now and there’s no real way to discriminate one gender against the other. A binary system is composed of two things, so non-binary cannot exist without there only being two other genders. There’s plenty of personality test for an example MBTI, I’m INTJ, but I’m INTJ because my results best matched INTJ, not because I simply felt like Elon Musk or Batman. So that’s my problem with understanding gender-identity is that there’s no standard.

Yh that's actually something I forgot to mention. Most of the time trans people's brains resemble the brain of the gender they identify with most. I'll be honest I'm not the best person to ask. I may be trans but I'm still figuring out what I like and dislike. I consider myself more feminine. Gender studies is something we are just now looking into. In fact the gender studies only have been around since 1969 when trans people where starting to have a bit of the spotlight. There's actually a video I have been saving for a while for some curious individual such as yourself to watch and it should explain everything you need to know. I'll you need is about 23 minutes of your time to watch it! I think you should watch this full video. It will only take 23 minutes. And before you ask, yes they have sources both in the video and in the despcirtion so you can fact check it yourself. I also recommend you read the sources too for more information this video is sort of the tl;dr versions of the articles. If you have anymore questions after you watch it. Ill try my best to answer all your questions! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uLcIbjgnGlQ

Hmm, i watched the video and read about half of the studies and found them interesting. The one problem I see is that we don’t have much data on the influence of Hormone levels and cognitive function in terms of GD. So for an example if a male with a feminine brain went on male hormones if their brain would start to resemble what’s generally considered typical for a male. Another thing is that the pill (which is male hormones) was developed in the 1950s and then in the 1960s John Money popularized gender-identity. So I feel we should research the cognitive differences between the offspring females who were on the pill at some point and offspring of females who never used hormonal birth control.
These studies also brought me to the question of “What is sex?”. Because if gender and sex are different, why do we need surgeries and breast binders? Second, my other complication with it is that it seems to me it’s encouraging gender roles. Because it’s saying that there is some sort of significant cognitive variation between your average male and average female. Third, this seems to interfere with body positivity because it’s saying that you can in fact be born in the wrong body.
So for an example I have an odd insecurity about my small wrists (they’re about an inch smaller in circumference than average), these ideologies are saying that it may be best simply to go on human growth hormone in the hopes that my wrists reach my preferred standards rather than learning to accept my wrists for the way they are.
(p.s Thank you for taking the time to talk with me.)

Well first, the first thing about why people use binders and tuck and stuff is because something called gender dyphoria which is the feeling of disassociation, depression, or discomfort about characteristics about gender. A common metaphor used to describe gender dyphoria or dyphoria in general is like wearing your shoes on the wrong foot but never being able to take it off. So its discomfort anf you may forget about it when your distracted but when someone points out, or you start walking again you feel it again. Its not a perfect metaphor but its gives a little glance into how it feels. Anyways trans person experience gender dyphoria in different degrees. Some trans people don't feel it at all. Severe gender dyphoria can lead to someone feeling so depressed and disassociated that they want to end thier own lives. So things like binders make them feel like more confortable because it makes thier chest look flatter. And your complication about gender roles is something I never thought of but I can try to explain it. Please excuse my lack of better terms. A lot of trans people actually want to act and look thier definition of masculine. For example I like to act and dress more feminine, my definition is being more traditional feminine (wear skirts and dresses, wear makeup, ect.) But my friend who is a transman would say something different. His definition of masculinity is not big strong man, but rather someone who looks a bit more traditional feminine and masculine. But not fully androgynous. I just texted him and he said he wants the classic dad look (heavier build, floral shirts ect) the point is everyone has thier own definition of what is masculine or feminine. For your complication for body positivity. I think this is a bit of a gray area. Gender dyphoria is horrible thing and I have it myself and I contemplated suicide on multiple occasions and I want to love my body but it gives me so much discomfortablity it is impossible if I don't dress, cover or look like the gender I want to be. Also thank YOU for asking us! When people ask us questions in a non-judgmental way shows us that you care about the trans community. I know it's not an easy thing to explain and lot of people just give up and refuse to learn anything! So thank you for listening! (Or reading?, idk,)

Thanks for asking! I appreciate that you have questions cuz it shows us that you truly care about us! Wish you luck!

ADDENDUM: I'm not 100% sure what type of social contract it is. I think it may be scientific but at the same time the binary gender is more religious. The idealiogios of a non-binary gender dates back a long time. At least since ancient Hawaiian culture that believed in a third gender. In ancient Judaism there was about 9 genders (I believe). I think it also plays into heirachry because going back to ancient Hawaiian culture, the third gender was seen as people who are better culturally and spiritual values and trusted to teach the Lui dances. I hope that answers your questions.