Finally using this legendary template, made by Golem....though submitted by me, because reasons

sounds like a good trade, I'll finally be able to leave

"Leave". In a body bag probably.

\̵͇̿̿\з=(•_•)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ My name is jeff. copy and paste me 10 times around Imgflip to have the love of your life kiss you, you have 120 minutes to copy and paste this, if you fail to copy and paste this in 120 minutes you will be cursed for 1 year, and have horrible bad luck, your favorite pet will die, and you will break your arm, Since you have read this whole thing there is no turning back.
(7 left. And more people potentially affected. Good, good.)

Sounds like a trap

I mean. It's more or less the only way you leave the store.