Because of the lack of understanding of our emotions or even the lack of vocabulary to explain what exactly we are actually feeling, we are left unable to express what our true emotions are. The word love gets tossed around because most people are not sure of all the things that word means.
But with that, This question gets asked by many of the couples I work with in marriage counseling. One spouse or the other recognizes that he or she feels little, if any, of the love which was felt early on in the relationship.
And we find ourselves struggling with this strange, wonderful, and often troublesome concept of "love."
What is love? It certainly is a word we use frequently.
We can love Chicago-style hot dogs, our new car, a movie star, a place, etc. and then use the same word to describe the deepest feelings we have toward the most important people in our lives.
Actually, love probably suffers from overuse.
For example, the classical Greek in which the New Testament of the Bible was written has literally dozens of words which we translate as simply "love."
When one word is used in so many situations, it loses much of its distinctive meaning. Yet love is the word we've got, and I doubt if we'll change the way we use it.
So maybe we can at least sharpen our understanding of what it means in a particular situation -- marriage.
First, love is an emotion. It can be an emotion that overwhelms us (the early infatuation that is part of some relationships) or one that develops slowly in intensity and depth.
It often involves a desire to be with the other person, a warm glow when we are together, or a deep sense of connectedness.
Now, as with all emotions, we seem to have little control over whether or not we feel love. But it is an emotion that can be cultivated. We can grow in our love as we know another person more fully and intimately. We can discover new and more meaningful ways to love our partner. Our love can become richer and more rewarding over time.
But love also seems to involve our rational, decision-making selves as well.
There does seem to be an element of choice in love.
Often, older couples will share with me how there have been times in their lives together that the feeling of love seemed muted, and that their mutual choosing to love each other was what got them through.
And certainly we all must choose to allow ourselves to risk experiencing, expressing, and cultivating the love we may have toward another.
Caption this Meme 
