Me: sir do you know why you pulled me over?
Officer: you were going 12 over the speed limit
Me: ah yes ah yes... And do you know why I was speeding ?
Officer: black Friday sales?
Me: but wasn't black Friday two days ago?
Officer: well yes, I was --
Me: how could I have been speeding for a black Friday sale today?
Officer: well, you couldn't be speeding f---
Me: ah yes ah yes, I couldn't have been speeding then.
Officer: sir... What have you been smoking???