Things you can shove up your ass

Walking into a Restaurant:

Hello.

Hi, table for two, please.

Sure, and your name?

Chuck.

Great. And do you and your guest have your vaccination cards?

We do....Can you tell us who our server will be?

Um, looks like Brad will be your server tonight.

Great. Can you show us Brad's vaccination card?
Um...

And also, can you provide me with proof that Brad is not a carrier of HIV, Hepatitis A or B, or any other communicable diseases?

Um...

Also, we would prefer not to be served by someone who is on or uses recreational drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, meth, fentanyl, etc., so if you could provide us with Brad's most recent tox screen, that would be great. Oh, and for your Chef as well.

Um... Let me get the manager for you.

That would be great, thanks!

Things you can shove up your ass
imgflip.com/i/5nrgmv

Damn, that was perfect. You need to do this every where you go and post about it, I’d upvote it.👍

"Thankfully those Southern democrats didn't get their way."

OH my god what an awesome meme and template!

Is the template shared? If so, what is it called so that I can search for it?