spongebob joins the AAA

so squidward betrayed the AAA?

Squidward: Hmm, honey...? [wakes up from anime-induced wet dream] What? Oh... I have got to get my hands on some anime! And no one's gonna stop me! [runs out of his house, panting, but tiptoes past SpongeBob's house, then pants some more to the AAA captured contraband reserve, putting his face up against the door] There it is...unguarded! All I have to do is... Wait... It's too easy. There must be some kind of... [sees dripping coming from above the door inside] security? [looks up and notices a bucket] This is our burglar alarm? A bucket of water? Ha-ha. [walks in, knocking the bucket off the door] That was too easy. [sniffs] Hey, this isn't water, this is...gas! [A robotic arm with a match drops it, lighting a screaming Squidward on fire, who runs all the way into the kitchen, where another bucket of gas falls on him and fire is seen again, as he screams again. Finally, he walks up to the Contraband Vault, wide-eyed, and opens the door to reveal hundreds and hundreds of heretical hentai pictures]
Squidward: Holy shrimp! I don't know where to start. [picks up an anime comic] All that matters is that it's just you... and me... and nobody...
SpongeBob: Squidward? [Squidward's face drops] Is that you?
Squidward: [turns around] SpongeBob? Uh, uh, uh... what are you doing here? [points at SpongeBob. While pointing at him, he notices he's showing the anime in his hand and puts it behind his back again]
SpongeBob: I always come to work at 3:00 AM. This is when I mark the contraband for incineration. [takes off his green hat] What are you doing here?
Squidward: Uhh, I forgot my...
SpongeBob: And why is the contraband vault open?
Squidward: Oh, I thought that...
SpongeBob: And why are you holding manga behind your back?
Squidward: I... I... I... no, I didn't do...
SpongeBob: And why are you acting so nervous? And why are you sweating so much? And why do you look so horny? And... [grins very smugly]
Squidward: No, no, wait... it's not what you think. Th-this is a big misunderstanding. You've got to believe me, I... Listen, I am telling you... [jumps up and down] You better listen to me, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: You watch anime, don't you, Squidward? [AK-47 fire]

Mr. Crabs: *Goes to drawer* Yes mmmy waifu is still there
Mr. Crabs: *Unzips*
Spongebob: MR. CRABS
Mr. Crabs: UHH *ZIPS* YES SPONGEBOB?
Spongebob: I thought I smelled anime in here
Mr. Crabs: I make my mmm money smell like anime so no one touches it.
Spongebob: Hmmm, Alright Mr. Crabs!
Mr. Crabs: *Locks his door* Finally... *Opens hentai and gets his waifu body pillow out*
AAA POLICE: OPEN UP MR. CRABS
Mr. CRABS: *HANDS UP*
Spongebob: I KNEW IT MR. CRABS. YOU LIKE ANIME.
AAA Police: You have the right to remain silent.
*Mr. Crabs got the life sentence*

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SpongeBob: You wanna hear one of my secrets?
Patrick: Do I?
SpongeBob: Okay. I love my job at the Krusty Krab, I sleep with my shoes on, I like jelly on both sides of my toast, I've got an overdue library book, I think jellyfishing and bubble-blowing are the... [transition to SpongeBob still telling secrets as Patrick lays his head on the box] ...overbite. I've never been late for work, I've said the word "fancy" in conversation, I like to dance to loading zone announcements, I still don't have my driver's license. I'm a little bit on the short side. And I'm wearing three pairs of underwear, right now. [he shows his three pairs of underwear to Patrick]
Patrick: Gasp. I never would have guessed.
SpongeBob: Now will you show me what's inside your secret box?
Patrick: No, SpongeBob! It's for me to know and for you to never find out. You may be an open book, SpongeBob, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. [imagines a carton of milk spilling itself]
SpongeBob: Oh, yeah?! Well, I got plenty of secret stuff, too! Uh… [close-up of SpongeBob's socks] I've got my secret socks on. [runs away and comes back with Gary's bowl] And my secret Gary's bowl! [runs away then comes back, pushing his television] My secret TV! [turns on the TV] And my secret TV channel. [the TV shows an off-air color bars screen] What do you think of that, Patrick? Patrick?
Patrick: [giggles, then laughs loudly after a gander at the box and then stops to breathe. Then he looks again and laughs harder and wildly. Then he stops to breathe] Maybe if you saw what was inside, you'd know why it has to be secret. [shows the box to SpongeBob] Inside this very box is the most secret-y secret of all of secret-dom and I am its sole witness! It's a heavy burden, SpongeBob, but nobody must know the mystery of the box. [SpongeBob tries to peek inside the box, but Patrick slams it shut] Nobody! Not even… Squidward's house. [scene zooms out to show Squidward's Tiki Head home looking down at SpongeBob and Patrick, who notice this before it goes back to normal] It's a full-time job. I'm constantly on the alert. You never know when someone's gonna… [gasps when he finds out his box is gone. The scene cuts to a laughing SpongeBob running with Patrick's secret box, but then he bumps into Patrick's belly] SpongeBob! What do you think you're doing?! That's my secret box! Now, hand it over!
SpongeBob: [struggles with Patrick on the box] But, Patrick, I must k

SpongeBob: [struggles with Patrick on the box] But, Patrick, I must know the secret!
Patrick: [struggles with SpongeBob on the box] For the last time, SpongeBob, no!
SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick, just a peek?
Patrick: Never! [SpongeBob and Patrick strain as they fight over the box. Eventually, SpongeBob's arms pop off and he gasps] So, it's come to this. And to think that we joined the Best Friends Forever Club! [shows his finger with the ring on it and then the camera zooms in on the ring. He grabs one of SpongeBob's arms and points it at SpongeBob] Listen up, SpongeBob SecretStealerPants! [as he pokes SpongeBob's nose with his arm] If you ever come near my secret box again, we won't be friends anymore!
SpongeBob: What could be in that box that Patrick doesn't want me to see? Maybe it's the world's only albino jellyfish... [slides down in his bed] or maybe Patrick's a master jewel thief and it's full of diamonds. [sits up] Or maybe Patrick's a deranged maniac who keeps his victims' severed heads in a box! [hides himself in the blanket and shivers] Or even worse... Maybe it's an embarrassing snapshot of me from the Christmas party! [screams, then hurls himself towards the bedroom window] I've gotta find out what's in that secret box! I'm not gonna rest till I do! [SpongeBob's face pops off and sticks onto his back] That's it! How do you look in a secret box? [jumps off the window] Secretly, of course; I'll just take the box while Patrick's sleeping, look inside, and before Patrick even has time to notice, I'll slide it back. [turns around to show only his nose, then turns back around] Patrick won't know, and I'll have my own little secret! Good idea, eh, Gary? [Gary narrows his eyes]
Gary: Meeh… No. [cut to the outside]
SpongeBob: Oh, what do you know? You're a snail! [sneaks over to Patrick's house, puts on gloves and a ski mask, crawls up the rock with his back, and tears him in half and gets both halves under the rock. He then lands and notices Patrick. He then screams gibberish, drools and SpongeBob hides behind the portrait of SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob then peeks and then the wall starts to crack. Patrick mumbles, the wall breaks even more and then the nail falls off. He then grabs the nail with his foot and puts it back.]
Patrick: [as the camera zooms in on the box] Seee... cret.
SpongeBob: [thinking] I got to be more quiet. I don't want to wake Patrick up. [slides down the wall from the portrait and makes a loud noise upon touching the flo

SpongeBob: [thinking] I got to be more quiet. I don't want to wake Patrick up. [slides down the wall from the portrait and makes a loud noise upon touching the floor. Patrick stretches and then goes back to sleep. SpongeBob then lifts his leg and then Patrick makes another noise. He then tosses himself over on the bed. SpongeBob puts his leg down, which makes a loud noise]
Patrick: Duh... who's there? [mumbles then goes back to sleep.]
SpongeBob: [talking to his foot] Shhh! [steps on a potato chip and makes a broken glass sound]
Patrick: Eh?! [gibberish] Who's that?! [Patrick is back asleep. SpongeBob sweeps his sweat drops off him and they land, causing a loud splash sound.] Mmm... water. [licks his mouth dry, then tosses himself on the bed. SpongeBob takes another step and makes an "AWOOOOGA!" noise. He then steps again, making a loud machine gun noise. Steps again, making the sound of an elephant. He then stretches his leg near the side of the bed, then takes the step, making a very loud crashing noise. He then peeks above Patrick to see the box. He gets ready to reach for the box, but Patrick takes the box before SpongeBob could grab it. He then slides onto Patrick, grabbing the box] Good old secret box. Let's see what's inside. [opens SpongeBob's mouth and pulls out his tongue, then laughs and lets go of his tongue] Nighty-night, boxie. [puts SpongeBob on the side of the bed. SpongeBob gets off the bed and then trips on a shoestring, causing him to bounce around Patrick's house, making a lot of loud noises until his head hits the wall, causing the portrait to fall off the wall, hitting him in the head, breaking the portrait half. The box then lands on SpongeBob and makes a loud noise. The scene cuts back to Patrick, who, despite all the noise, continues to sleep]
SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick sure is a heavy sleeper. [Patrick wakes up]
Patrick: Huh? Who said that?! Who's there?!
SpongeBob: Uh…
Patrick: It's the Clam Burglar! And he's stealing my secret box! [runs up to SpongeBob] Hand over the goods, Secret Box Bandit, and prepare for the most unpleasant pillow fight of your life! [readies his pillow like a shotgun, ready to suffocate him]
SpongeBob: Wait, wait, wait, Patrick! Stop! [takes off his mask] It's me, SpongeBob!
Patrick: [stares at him while clueless] Nice try, burglar, but SpongeBob's my best friend, and he'd never steal from me.
SpongeBob: No, really, Patrick! Look! [Patrick gasps. SpongeBob reveals the Best Friends Forever Ring.]

Patrick: Our friendship ring! It is you! [crying as he covers his face with his pillow] How could you do thi-i-i-i-is?!?
SpongeBob: If it makes you feel any better, I haven't looked inside. [throws the pillow away and snatches the box out of SpongeBob's hands]
Patrick: [with a tear coming out of his eye] That's it, SpongeBob! You have crossed the line. As of right now, this friendship is over!
SpongeBob: [gasps and tears up] Really?
Patrick: Nahhh, you can look inside it if you really want to.
SpongeBob: Okay! Oh, this is one of the most exciting moments of my life! Well, here it goes! [he lifts the lid off the box] Huh?
Patrick: Well, didn't I tell ya? [we see a string inside the box] Isn't it great?
SpongeBob: It's just a string.
Patrick: A secret string!
SpongeBob: Boy, when you're right, you're right! That's some secret box you've got there! Yeah! Thanks for showing me that! [puts the lid back on the box] Well, good night, Patrick. See you tomorrow!
Patrick: Good night, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob pops out of Patrick's house]
SpongeBob: I should've known! It was just a piece of string all along! [laughs] Wait 'till I tell Gary!
Patrick: [laughs menacingly] Good thing he didn't pull the secret string, opening the... [a secret compartment opens] ...secret compartment of my secret box... [takes out a photo] ...revealing my secret hentai collection! [laughs diabolically]

*THe crusaders smelled heresy*
CRUSADERS OPEN UP

Crusaders: [crash into Patrick's rock house. SpongeBob enters through the hole.]
SpongeBob: *gasp* No... my best friend... all this time... was a WEEABOO?!?!? [Sandy enters with Crusaders, wearing Texas sherrif uniform]
Sandy: Your time is up, criminal scum!
Patrick: NEVER!!! Anime Police forever! TENNO HEIKA BANZAI!!!!!!!!! [Patrick banzai charges at Sandy. Sandy fires Colt revolver at Patrick. Patrick dies wearing secret Anime Army uniform.]

*A ton of weebs show up*

Crusaders: HEY AAA POLICE. WANNA GET A LOAD OF THIS
AAA Police: of course

*The weebs are injured and thrown into jail*

Crusaders: Anyway see ya, the heresy is gone

AAA police: cya

[Mr. Krabs is successfully rehabilitated and cured of anime. The Krusty Krab re-opens. Meanwhile, Sandy is captured and mind-controlled by the resurrected Patrick. Since starfishes regenerate, Patrick is almost immortal, and he can only be killed by incinerating his entire body with the holy flamethrower. Sandy loses control over her body, and Patrick summons unholy demons to possess it. "Sandy" convinces SpongeBob that hentai is not all that bad, which is not that hard because "And no marvel, for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light" - 2 Corinthians 11:14.]
[SpongeBob is lurking around, heading home, looking for Sandy because they are playing karate. He suspects the pineapple of being Sandy]
SpongeBob: [attempts to shake hands with pineapple] Oh, sorry, pineapple house. I thought you were someone else. [walks inside] Ah, what a great day at work. [hears something] Huh? Yeah... [tip toes over to the couch, but makes duck sounds as he tip toes. He realizes he's been stepping on three squeaky toy ducks, and in frustration, he kicks them away. Then he runs in front of his couch] I know you're back there, Sandy! And I also know that nobody can hide from Sponge... [jumps behind the couch and no one is there] ...Bob. [has his back to the couch while he squeezes his eyes through the couch looking for Sandy. When he thinks he has spotted her, he runs out from behind the couch and in front of the TV] I got you now! [no one is there, so he sits on the couch and watches TV] Well, I guess the coast is clear.
TV: [connects to Patrick's illegal TV station and plays lewd hentai]
SpongeBob: I love this show! [Sandy is sitting next to SpongeBob]
Sandy: Me too! [SpongeBob and Sandy do really heretical stuff all night, and even into the morning. SpongeBob is late for work.]

SpongeBob: Curses! [Now at the Krusty Krab, the line is very long]
Fred: With extra cheese. To go!
Mr. Krabs: Three patties, four large oyster skins, on the double, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Oh yeah. Gotcha! [SpongeBob opens a door]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: What?
Mr. Krabs: I'm going to pretend that didn't happen. [throws two pieces of paper at SpongeBob] Now fill these orders or leave, SpongeBob. We're very busy today!
SpongeBob: Order up. [stops as he hallucinates Sandy who wears an anime t-shirt and winks at SpongeBob]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Now are you gonna... [SpongeBob throws the tray backwards at Squidward, causing the Krabby Patties to land on Krabs's head]. What was that?
SpongeBob: But, sir, she snuck up on me.
Mr. Krabs: Are you on some new medication, boy?
SpongeBob: No, sir. Just practicing my karate, sir.
Mr. Krabs: [is suspicious, since Spongebob's actions bear no resemblance to actual martial arts.] Now get back to work. [Sandy walks in and reads heresy with SpongeBob.]
Mr. Krabs: What the? [walks outside] SpongeBob! [SpongeBob screams and hides the hentai]
SpongeBob: Ahh, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: What did I just get through telling ye, lad?
SpongeBob: But I, uhh, she...
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're fired!
Sandy: Huh?
SpongeBob: [high-pitched voice] Fired? [his face gets smaller until it's not there anymore]
Mr. Krabs: Eh? Okay, I'll overlook it just this once. But you better not do it again. You're not watching anime, are ya boy?
SpongeBob: No, boss.
Mr. KRABS: Good. Now back to work!

[Sandy and SpongeBob go to Sandy's treedome and start watching anime again. SpongeBob is addicted to anime at this point. A Crusader and an AAA police officer are walking down the street]
Crusader: Do you smell it? That smell... A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells... smelly... [his eyes widen] HERESY!
AAA policeman: What?
Crusader: HERESY!!!!!!!! [they both run towards the Treedome, but are halted by the locked door.
AAA policeman: [fires machine gun at door. Sandy's hentai demons prevent damage]
Crusader: [uses Holy Hand Grenade. The door opens.]

Hmm

kalashnikov approves

What is going on in the comments

we're making Anti-Anime propaganda out of SpongeBob episodes

If anything I would write about a weeb being tortured and eventually dying a slow and painful death