Truth and Gender

I’m confused. The rule book says that I can’t be an attack helicopter/King of Everything because an attack helicopter isn’t alive. So I ask if I can be a tree because trees are alive, but still no. Trees are inanimate, according to the handbook. This sounds mysteriously like a game of Monopoly where things keep changing.

So it has to be alive and it has to move. Okay I’ll identify as a giraffe. Can I pleAse be a giraffe today? And where can I get a copy of “280 Genders for Dummies?”

your gender isn't an object or a creature, or even based off of one.

Is there a gender called “Attack Helicopter?” Because I really feel that I’m an attack helicopter trapped in a middle-aged guy’s dad bod. Or maybe a king too. His Royal Majesty the Duke of Rottingham, Sir Loin of Beef, Essence of Myrrh, and something else royal sounding. An attack helicopter who is also a king. And if my gender does t exist I demand that you create it and give me special treatment for it.

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm f**king retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

i am very serious about this

no one wants to hear your little rant about gender

How about you get that stick out of your ass and see that it wasn’t intended to be serious.

Serious? No. Offensive? Yes.

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm f**king retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

i hope you crash and your people revolt :)

They just might but that’s okay.

you're not an attack helicopter, a middle aged guy, or a king. You're an asshole.

That’s MISTER asshole to you. It took decades of training and intense study to become the asshole that I am today. But I can see where that opinion comes from. Yours is the only correct opinion and anyone who disagrees with you is wrong. It’s okay, I’m not offended.

never said my opinion is the only correct opinion.Your gender can be fluid, but your sex can't.

You’re entitled to your opinion. Please be whatever you want to be.

then please stop making fun of people for what gender they identify as.

I’m not making fun of anybody. I’m telling how I identify and acknowledging your right to identify however you choose.

you don't seriously identify as attack helicopter or whatever though. Identifying as a different gender has nothing to do with identifying as objects. It's not acknowledging your right to identify however gender (not object) you choose, it's just mocking those that switch between genders (and note that you don't choose to be trans, you are trans. Same with gay people.).

So can I see the handbook that lays these things out? I’ve decided that I feel like a giraffe today and want to make sure that that’s okay. I also want to know what to do if somebody...like, you know...refuses to believe that I’m a giraffe. I’m thinking ACLU or maybe the ASPCA should know about this.

Umm, genderfluid just means that you are whatever gender you are feeling like

Genderfluid sounds like something you would find on the set of a porno movie.

Donald Trump sounds like an idiot from a cartoon

My mind conjures up other images.

So one day you’re a dude and the next you’re a pot of petunias. That’s fine if that’s how you want to identify, just don’t expect me to believe that you’re a pot of petunias when just yesterday you were a dude.

Petunias aren't a gender, but OK

I’m a giraffe now. You must embrace my giraffe-ness or I will contact the ASPCA for help. You must believe with every fiber of your being that I am a giraffe, and tomorrow possibly a bird of some sort. If you do not it is the same as committing physical violence against me.

Humans still aren't in the same taxonomic order as giraffes.

I know that but where is that in the rule book? People identify as animals all the time and nobody says anything about them. What if I call myself a Furry?

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm f**king retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

lol

they exist

and some are kinda disgusting

also, watch this.

im serious

Yep, they're called furries.

Hate to break it to you, but furries don't identify as animals

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm f**king retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

XD

and im serious, look at my name

OK bye.

So it's crazy people