Have you read history books about communism. Because you should read history books. Then again, with so much history being "revised," you may not even have the same idea of what has happened in Communist revolutions. Maybe we have different versions of what's happened.
In my heart, I'm a communist. In the real world, I'm a conservative. There are selfish, egotistical sociopaths who ruin everything, and they are never going away. So, being a Communist, while on paper it looks cool, never works in the way that you think it will... it has always been a power grab for the elite and always will be. It's an ideal that will never be realized. Gotta grow up someday, pal.