ATHEISM: NO SHIT; JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: KNOCK KNOCK, SHIT HAPPENS; CATHOLICISM: SHIT HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU'RE BAD; HINDUISM: THIS SHIT HAPPENED BEFORE; HARE KRISHNAS: RAMA RAMA, SHIT HAPPENS; JUDAISM: WHY DOES THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO US? PROTESTANTISM: SHIT HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU DON'T WORK HARD ENOUGH; AGNOSTICISM: MAYBE SHIT HAPPENS, MAYBE IT DOESN'T; RASTAFARIANISM: LET'S SMOKE THIS SHIT; ISLAM: IF SHIT HAPPENS, IT'S THE WILL OF ALLAH; BUDDHISM: IF SHIT HAPPENS, IT'S NOT REALLY SHIT; TAOISM: SHIT HAPPENS