Okay, this isn't meant to be taken seriously but here is my roast:
Listen here you two-eyed cabbage, I wasn’t born into this world so your fat ass could choke out low level memes at me. I hope you stub your toe in the dark and have to crawl around your bedroom at 3:47 am in horrific pain after going to the kitchen for a midnight snack of cheese and crackers you gormless minger.