I say them/ they when I'm just not sure. One time I was at the airport and saw a person in a dress and I wasn't quite sure if they were trans or just cross dressing but I invited them to sit next to me after we got through security to put shoes on and it was very crowded. I felt bad because the TSA had taken this individual to a glass room to frisk and I wondered if it was because of the way they were dressed. Anyways they looked very grateful to share a seat and be out of that situation. I try to treat them like any one else.
Some people still are sensitive to it. While I do use it gender neutrally, if someone specifically tells me not to call them that it is to be respected, that's why I didn't put it on
I know you may still respect his or her views, but I figured I'll send you the link anyways. Maybe you could get them to reconsider their hatred of your "lifestyle"
