We're number 1!

Nobody up here in the north of UK is being tested. Not even heard of anyone being tested outside of hospital.
If you're asymptomatic you generally won't be tested it seems, so our numbers are probably drastically lower on that technicality..

We will have more numbers if you test more, but our mortality rate is incredibly low. Let's not push fake statistics like CNN pushes fake news.

You guys are doing awesome. We're not doing so good, people are being forced to go back to work, malls opening up, the tyranny of it all.

If you test for any viruses you will always find them. There are 100 viruses circulating at all times, and we are always carrying some. It's essentially meaningless because a few viruses can be contained and destoyed by our immune systems. If we get weak, tired, those viruses have a chance to multiply and cause illness. Only at that point are we contagious. It's almost as if we've known this all along for a hundred years.