flowers

My self esteem is built on the fact that if I don't like myself nobody does. 🤷 At some point you can either accept yourself as the person you are or give up. I decided in the first of those.

I've heard it was said that you can't love others unless you love yourself. That honestly have never made sense to me. and in my days of self loathing it sounds rediculous.

But what you've said there is profound because as much as we've tried, we can never be perfect individuals. Many of us built ourselves to be popular, the cool-guy or gal, yet inside we feel the opposite. Because we've built an image of self... a facade,... and nothing more.

So, enter self acceptance.... Your answer. We are flawed human beings, we correct them, yet the harder we try, the more flaws revealed. The point is not to give up, but to accept that you are you....

And the more you accept yourself, the more you're able to accept others. Exactly your answer.

Thank you for invaluable* input!

* Invalualble doesn't mean worthless but indespesnible and extremely useful

My self-esteem is Non-existant

There's a God who loves you, Trooper06.

I know that, that seemed insufficient; and you might be wondering how would a loving God place you in the circumstance that you are now.

Think of how much He has forgiven you; the fact that we've all fallen short of His standards (Romans 3:23) daily we do not at all deserve a grain of happiness. But, if you are a believer, He has chosen you before the foundation of the world... to be His son or daughter (Romans 8:29-31 & Ephesians 1:5).

To be His own. And there is nothing you can do to lessen that love; He loves unconditionally.

If you are indeed His, it's time now to do His will, yes? I don't know the fulness of your circumstances, but if you've read my posts here, you can build yourself up to potential. It all starts with a step towards that direction.

THere are other people who do have it worse than you... and they need you. And it could be that God is leading you to them.

Yep. Awesome people like you and Kate who inspire me are the reason I'm still alive.

Trooper06 we're glad to help. Our ears are always open. I don't know Kate's situation, whether she have her own problems but I do know mine.

There are times I wished my life to end. But I know God didn't send me here just to waste air.

If I am completely useless, or worthless, why am I still here? I know the reason why, Psalms 37, Ephesians 2:10, and Philippians 1:6

You're not a waster of air either.

Yeah. Thanks.

You're welcome. :)

Self worth is an immutable attribute given by the creator. (If you're not a believer then it is by the fact that we are human beings with a will and intellect) our value is neither diminished by others' low opinion of us nor increased by others' applaud. An old person in a wheelchair is just as valuable as a 3 time Olympic medalist in the prime of their career. The difference is in their own minds whether they are worth more or less than another. Self esteem is understanding your value doesn't change.

Very true indeed!. Self worth is determined by God in how He usues you in accordance to His sovereign will. Everyone has a role, thus everyone has value, only that it's up to the person to do what is right.

For the believer it is to follow His commands (John 14:15), and for the unbeliever to follow his/her conscience (Romans 2:14-16 & James 4:17).

Thank you for sharing, Kate!

I have no idea... No-one will tell me....

Who is G-d to you? What do you see Him as?

I am jewish. I see G-d as in the world. He created it and He runs it. And don't just send me a bunch of quotes from Psalms and stuff. I know ill figure out who I am eventually. G-d has a plan. What I wrote b4 I meant as a joke, cuz I do depend on other people to telll me who I am. I know everyone tells you to know yourself, but it's hard. G-d is there for me when I have no-one to turn to. Should I switch schools? I ask G-d. He may not answer in a tangible way, but He has a plan and He can set it in motion. If my brother moves into a town, maybe ill move in with him. G-d can make that happen. So you wanted to know who I think G-d is? I think He is my Father and my King. He loves me and wants to make things happen, and the King to have the power to do so.

Don't worry, my use of a particular psalm would only be used in certain circumstances.

I understand your meaning, that find what you really are is difficult because most what you hear is opinions, and mere compliments than honest assessment of you. I will say that in Paul Washer's words when quoting one of his mentor

"Paul, your best friend is the one who tells you the most truths"

For certain facts that's not always the case. A wife would ask her husband if she's fat, a person with physical (a) disability(ies) asked his best friend if girls would find him attractive, and grieving parents asked their son's best friend and comrade how their son really died in combat.

Certain questions in relation to subjects can prove too much.

But in terms of character, a true friend will tell him/her their virtue and flaws. If your friend often comments you on your sincerity, you can take it as an isolated opinion. Two people, maybe, but if three or more states the same, then there's truth to it. Same thing if you are told if you're stubborn, difficult to be with, stuck-up, arrogant, cold, harsh, hard around the edges, etc.

Good friends are ready to compliment, but best friends tells you the positives and give negatives in a form of constructive criticisms to you.

Wow. Thats deep, and really good advice. Thanks.
I like singing, but I never know who to believe when someone tells me I have a good voice, is it just my mother boosting my confidence, is it my friend not wanting to make me feel bad, or is it a random stranger who is sincere. Thats my dilemma, I don't know who to trust. I like acting, but my mother is the school play directer, am I good enough to get the part, or is it just nepotism. I don't know who to trust, and even if they say the truth, how do I know to believe them. But I think im starting to get it. What I think matters, I think I have a good voice. Nothing I can do about it, but if I want to belt it out, no-one stops me.

LOL... oh, that's a tough one! Mothers, "Bless their hearts" (not all of course) would would never say no, and yes, friends don't want to hurt your feelings.

I'm sure you're aware of shows like "Britain's Got Talent" or "American Idol", where there are a plethora of examples of contestants with great confidence failed to please the judges, and walk away sad or angry with the judges because they think they're completely wrong! For them I hate to think that theri confidence are a product of well meaning compliments that are not true.

With that in mind, have you looked for a music critic outside your circle of friends and family?

Music critic... ive taken singing lessons, but I still don't know if they told me the truth since they were getting paid. I guess ill just have to believe in myself until someone yells at me to stop, or comes up to me with a job ;p.

Hi puppylover04, how have you been lately? I've noticed you've been taking part in a debate last week. Is that your first time?

Hi Puppylover04, I'm sorry about the delay

Here's the debate: imgflip.com/i/3uz1sd?nerp=1587420018#com4378449

You were debating with Octavia the first time I saw your posts, Well done. :)

Haha yeah for sure. Im trying to stay away from that kind of thing again

Well, if you couldn't resist and need fire-support, let me know. :)

Hey puppylover04, I've forgotten to ask you; how your musical training going along? Going well?

Now I remember. Lol, thanks! I think it was the first time.

Yes, lol, hopefully it won't happen again any time soon

Well, it depends on what you mean by going well. I signed up for zoom singing classes, and they are great, but sporadic, and will probably be stopping soon. And I used to take piano, but my teacher passed away recently...

/I'm very sorry for your loss. How long have you've been with your piano teacher?

Thanks. Ill keep that in mind lol

10 years. He's taught almost all my siblings

Wow, I'm really sorry that happened. It must be very hard on you all.

It is yeah. Thanks. But im going to teach piano lessons to beginners in his memory

Im doing well. What debate are you referring to? I have no clue if its my first time, but likely.

Sigh, I apologise for that; I've been busy studying. Doing well; how are you?

Its all right. Im well. I really hope restrictions lift soon. Its getting really annoying.

Is it possible for you to purchase that manuel?

Yeah. I have to look it up. Im meant to teach my nephew so I do need to buy it. I think ill be buying it soon

Getting worse? That doesn't sound good; are you able to contact your friends, via, email or any online medium such as Facebook or Skype?

Annoying as in I really want to hang out with friends. Its sooo not the same over a video! And my friend is getting married in august and I REALLY want to go!!

Oh... that's tough.... I'm sorry you're going through that.

That sounds like a wonderful plan. You get to relearn your fundamental techniques in the piano and get a little practice as well.

yeah. Kinda hard to do over zoom though...

Oh, right; you can't hear as accurately as you can being there in person, nor can you point to specific keys or features of the piano.

Exactly. And with beginners its harder. I was going to try it, then realized I didnt have a copy of the book. I do hope to figure it out, cuz my friend lives an hour away and her sister wants lessons

They may be paid, but their task is to train their students to a level of proficiency that can help them do well in the activity or profession of their choice.

If you just want to sing well as a soloist at a temple, or sing in perfect harmony in a choir, then nearly any local singing coach can do.

But if you want to go above local activites, you must find one who has a record of having students trained successfully by them to become professional singers at a state or national level.

It depends on what or how you want to use your voice.

Hi Puppylover04, I haven't spoke to you in a while; how's everything going with you?

Haha, thanks for checking. Im fine. Coronavirus and all, i'm healthy thank G-d. How are you?

Doing well, and am glad you are also despite the present circumstances. :) How are you dealing with the new order of things, self-quarenting and the like?

Well im still in school, and we don't use internet in my school. We have classes on conference calls. Pretty annoying. I definitely have a touch of cabin fever being cooped up. Though the thing I miss most is hanging out with my friends. I can text and call them, but it just isn't the same. What about you? Stock up on toilet paper like the rest of this crazy country?

On conference calls? Is that an elective? in a physical class? That sounds dangerous but i trust that your teachers spaced the students out to avoid breaking the 10 person limit.

If not an elective wonder how that'll help anyone but those whose choice is to work as a secretary or in telecommunications.

Yes, ... it's not the same I can imagine. Not seeing their faces, not hearing them in person, you can only read so much of that person online... well you can't read them at all but their words. You can't tell if they'e human or automatons.

Oh I see. I apologize for the delay. Doing well so far?

Conference calls. Over the phone. We are not in a physical class. Im usually lying on my bed looking on Imgflip cuz they cant even tell. We have all our regular classes but over the phone. We don't use zoom. All my classmates are on it but we mute ourselves when we aren't talking. Hard when they make us do homework then somehow get it to them, but better cuz I can do anything I want.

Conference calls. Over the phone. We are not in a physical class. Im usually lying on my bed looking on Imgflip cuz they cant even tell. We have all our regular classes but over the phone. We don't use zoom. All my classmates are on it but we mute ourselves when we aren't talking. Hard when they make us do homework then somehow get it to them, but better cuz I can do anything I want.

Hey, I'm sorry about that . I've gotten pretty busy with school. I'm doing fine, still alive as well.

So you said school is annoying as you do not have friend to talk to in person. Three weeks had gone byl any improvements?

Hi Puppylover04, sorry it's been a white; how are you?

Im good. School is annoying, as no friends to talk to in person. But Im still alive and well. How are you? I did respond awhile ago but im not sure if you saw that one. Nice to see you still remember me.