Surprised Pikachu

ya cuz we arent dead yet uwu

*the FBI would like to know your location*

The FBI already knows my location...

I almost don't want to know what happened
..

I've been thru several FBI background checks, they know pretty much everything about me I'm sure.

Okay so you must be alot older than me

Probably older, sure. But not old, I'm still in my prime :)

Okay (:

if time is infinite, literally everything will happen

“I am pizza becuase life is eating me away.“
does this count?

depression be like:

You've seen more of the Moon's surface in a night than of the Earth's in your lifetime.

I mostly just relive arguments and sing random like Frozen songs

My shower thoughts are as follows:

Finally, alone time. Boy that feels good, the kids are being too quiet, are they burning the house down now? I better hurry, dang out of shampoo again, I really need to scrub the tub out. Is that all my hair? I could knit a sweater. *kids banging on door* I'M ALMOST DONE!

Why does round pizza come in a square box

Why do we drive in a parkway and park in a driveway

Why is it called cargo when it’s on a ship and why is it shipping when it’s in a car

I have an answer for that one: it's because it takes less cardboard for a square box then a circular one.

how do I get sleep

our pupils are black because black is the color created from the absorption of all light, and the job of our pupils is to absorb light so we can see

If the top of Mount Everest is covered with snow how do we know that? Clouds always cover the top

We are not able to move our top teeth, only our bottom teeth.