Terrible that happened to you. When he died that robbed you of your chance at closure for the molestation you endured. Strange how you refer to him as your butt buddy though. Is that related to Stockholm Syndrome or something?
I hope you have been able to get on with your life and can form meaningful relationships which I've heard is very difficult once you've spent your youth being trafficked to old men.
Best wishes for your continued journey of recovery.
