He left off the part about living in exile on a remote island, drinking the warm milk from some creature on the side of a cliff, and dying alone while in the midst of an astral projection
Not sure if you've heard about the conspiracy that Jar Jar Binks is the true master of the dark side and was manipulating Darth Sidious the whole time. It's a pretty interesting conspiracy.
THANKS FOR THE LIGHT SAVER BEN, HOW DID YOU GET IT? OH I SEVERED OFF MOST OF YOUR DADS LIMBS AND LEFT HIM TO DIE IN LAVA. NOW HE'S DARTH VADER AND I'M GOING TO MANIPULATE YOU INTO BECOMING A JEDI AND KILLING HIM; THAT'S HORRIBLE! DO I AT LEAST GET THE GIRL? NOPE, YOU'LL KISS HER A FEW TIMES AND THEN DISCOVER SHE'S YOUR SISTER; THIS IS THE WORSE DAY OF MY LIFE; IF YOU THINK THAT'S BAD... WHEN YOU GET HOME YOU'LL FIND YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE DEAD FOR BUYING THOSE DROIDS I LIED ABOUT
