Everyone Else Can Just... Work Twice As Hard

Thank you for stopping by. Please empty your wallet as you enter. ;-)

Employers are legally entitled to check your email, blood, and hair for... anything they don't approve of. Especially off hours, personal activities.

So... no, not much. ;-)

Count de Monet? No way.

You mean from History of the World (Part I)?

lol

But this a highly visible, competitive position. It's a customer facing solution opportunity.

We'll call you an idea generator in our Center of Excellence.

Let's go TEAM! ;-)

Didn't the Romans build a Colosseum for something similar?

And they went out of business! ;-)

Sure, it's a team!

Like a family, so we have to go that extra mile and we'll all be better for it. ;-)

*vomits*

Well not exactly. Not for people at you level.

But everyone above you will get a bonus, based on how well you perform.

Would you mind filling out a self-review and make suggestions and goals for you to improve?

Of course we have our own standards and anything you write will be meaningless.

But we want you to take ownership and deliver...

But first a series of non-stop, unnecessary meetings. Nothing good will come of them.

Go team go!

Did you say MORE pay?

Now you funny... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! :-D

OK, back to work now. The party is over.

We've got deadlines and unrealistic goals to meet!

*sounds of whips cracking*

Wait! What about THIS one?

imgflip.com/i/28swkr

It's much better, don't you think?

[image deleted]