Thinking makes me think there is no god

When I was an atheist and I was challenged to consider my apriori presuppositions, it was also thinking that caused me to abandon any notion that atheistic naturalism is a viable logical worldview.

When I was an atheist, and still am, I looked at the consequences of an action and considered their cause, and that's why I don't do drugs.

I did realize that atheism was bankrupt and untenable before Christ actually saved me and that was only because He was shining light into and preparing my heart.
I did not "rationalize" myself into believing and following Christ. Christ drew me to Himself, everything inside of me fought it kicking and screaming. I even lied to and fooled myself into thinking that I was a Christian for a while as I continued to fornicate and get high.
But when it comes to salvation God gets what He wants.

Atheism does have the consequence of being attacked by religious radicals, not much else. Any other consequences come from the actions of the individual, not as a punishment from a supernatural being.

Have you actually considered the moral consequences of a worldview that says morality is subjective to the individual at worst or to the society at large at best?
If you appeal to society or the law in any society for what measures acceptable morality then all the atrocities in every society are acceptable and off limits to criticism.

I've considered the people, not the idea. Any person can be really corrupt when ruling a powerful country, religious or atheist.

People don't live or function in a vacuum. They live and behave based on the ideas they conform to.
Don't get me wrong, I agree that the people are responsible for their actions, but we can't separate the people from the ideas. Some people function well with worldviews that can't form a coherent morality system because there is something about those people that makes them predisposed to do good.

Other people, like myself, used the foundational ideas of the atheistic naturalistic worldview to do the bad things that I wanted to and not feel guilty or ashamed about it at all. I could steal, cheat, lie to, and hurt other people to get what I wanted because of "survival of the fittest," it was me or them, or how we said it in the street, "you gotta get it how you live." I didn't rationalize myself into believing that at the time (I was to high to think that deep back then.) It boils down to being a product of a fallen human nature, environment, and ideology/belief system.

I would rather live according to a philosophy that can be the foundation of a coherent morality system. Not one where if the adherents were leaders of the country and they decided that committing atrocities against people was what needed to be done for "the good of the collective/country" then that philosophical system couldn't logically and consistently be used to decry their actions.

That is why I mentioned communist China and Russia, which at the time were avowed atheistic countries. If morality is up to people or the society we can't call what individuals and entire belief systems do "bad" or "immoral."