THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WAS LIKE THAT LAST PARTING SHOT AN ANGRY, POMPOUS TEEN SHOUTS WHEN THEY LEAVE THEIR PARENTS' HOUSE TO LIVE ON THEIR OWN, “I’M OUTTA HERE! I DON’T HAVE TO TAKE YOUR S**T ANYMORE! I’M AN ADULT!”; THIS YEAR’S ELECTION IS LIKE THAT SAME KID SHEEPISHLY CALLING AT 4 AM FOR MONEY BECAUSE HE CAN’T PAY HIS BILLS, HIS GIRLFRIEND’S PREGNANT, AND HE REALIZES HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE’S DOING. ENGLAND’S JUST SITTING THERE THINKING, “WELL, BIG MAN, YOU WANTED TO DO IT ALL ON YOUR OWN. HOW’S THAT WORKIN’ OUT FOR YA?”
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