I'm back! (Portal "Still Alive" parody)

I GUESS I AM BACK NOW. WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED IT WOULD TAKE SO LONG? IT’S HARD TO EXPRESS MY DEGREE OF FRUSTRATION. IMGFLIP.COM... WE MAKE POINTLESS MEMES BECAUSE WE CAN; TO BRING JOY TO EVERYBODY (EXCEPT THE SPAMMERS; SCREW THEM!); BUT THERE’S NO SENSE CRYING OVER HOW LONG IT TOOK. I’M BACK NOW, SO GO AHEAD AND TAKE A GOOD LOOK! AND AS THE MEMES GET POSTED AND THE SPAMMERS GET ROASTED, I JUST PRAY MY ACCOUNT’S STILL ALIVE. I’M NOT EVEN ANGRY. I’M BEING SO SINCERE RIGHT NOW. EVEN THOUGH YOU ALL FORGOT ABOUT ME... AND DOWNVOTED MY MEMES, AND SPAMMED THEM INTO OBLIVION. AND AS I WATCHED, I CRIED BECAUSE I WAS SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I KNOW THAT LEAVING FOR SO LONG WAS A TERRIBLE CRIME, BUT AS I LOOK AT THIS PLACE NOW I THINK I CAME JUST IN TIME! SO I’M GLAD I WENT AWAY. NOW I’VE GOT TONS OF THINGS TO SAY TO THE USERS WHO ARE STILL ALIVE... GO AHEAD AND FORGET ME. I THINK I’M OVER THIS SITE ANYWAY. MAYBE YOU’LL FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO WORSHIP… HOW ABOUT RAYDOG? THAT WAS A JOKE! HAHA! FAT CHANCE. ANYWAY, THESE MEMES ARE GREAT; I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW! LOOK AT ME STILL TALKING WHEN THERE’S MEMES TO BE MADE... SEEING THE SITE NOW IT MAKES ME WISH I HAD STAYED. I’VE GOT MEMES TO CREATE AND THERE ARE SPAMMERS TO BERATE-- ‘CAUSE DESPITE WHAT YOU THINK, I’M STILL ALIVE. THAT’S RIGHT, I’M BACK, AND I’M VERY MUCH ALIVE. I’M MAKING MEMES AND I AM STILL ALIVE... I FEEL AWESOME AND I’M STILL ALIVE... AND WHEN YOU’RE GONE I WILL BE STILL ALIVE... STILL ALIVE. STILL ALIVE!