THE BANNER OF THE FROG-EATERS?! Merciful heavens, my parlor hath been thoroughly contaminated by the standard of the Gauls! What manner of treacherous, cheese-consuming heathen dares hoist that revolutionary rag beneath a respectable gentleman's sermon?! I am Arthur Cooper of Ludlow, a loyal subject of the Queen, and I shall not tolerate this garlic-scented vandalism in the public square! Go touch some honest British oak, wash thy face with proper water, and begone across the English Channel, ye Napoleonic scoundrel!