This is very good don't want to sound like a nerd but since you wanted criticism i think you don’t use enough adjectives and i think you should careful of repeating words/phrases like when you said “moving on.Done with introductions”i think you should in this scenario you should use one or the other. If you found this helpful pls let me know and ill hep with the others
Thanks, I will take this into consideration. As for how the wording goes, the main character is based off of me and I am trying to write like how I normally would speak, so that explains certain phrases.
I'm usually quite busy so I don't have much time for this, so I just write some chapters every once in a while. But once I get some new chapters done, I'll definitely share them here again
Your writing is awesome and I'm excited for the next time I see it again, but I do get that you're busy. I just want to say that you did a great job and wanted to thank you for sharing this. ^w^
I recently started writing a
light novel, and I have 3
chapters done so far. If any
of you would like to read it
and provide feedback, I'd be
grateful. I'll put it in the
comments for those interested