Warning, taking this medicine can result in: headaches, nausea, lightheadedness, explosive diarrhea, tight chest, vomiting, skin peeling, hair loss, gut detachment, head detachment, heart failure, AIDS, heart attack, stroke, sudden death, inner bleeding, bleeding out, organ failure, and spontaneous combustion. If you feel any of these symptoms, let your doctor know immediately, or contact Testicular Itch Cure Co, Inc. at (123) 456-7890. Duplication of this medicine is punishable by law and can cause fine charged with a value from $350 to $20,000. Restrictions apply, results may vary.