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Read this laddie!

Read this laddie! | ya cant *burp* read this laddie! WITH CHEESE, I'LL TAKE OVER GERMANY. I CAME TO GERMANY SPECIFICALLY TO OFFER YOU CHEESE. I WILL JUST GRAB IT FROM YOUR NATION AND BRING IT BACK TO MY OWN IF YOUR GOVERNMENT IS UNWILLING TO ACCEPT IT. HOWEVER, I CAN ALSO CREATE CHEESE OUT OF THIN AIR IF THE GERMANS ARE AMENABLE TO A GROUP OF CHEESE THIEVES. IT MAKES NO SENSE TO WAGE WAR ON A FOE THAT IS IMMUNE TO BOMBS AND BULLETS, MUCH ALONE BOTH! WHEN MY FATHER WAS CONSTRUCTING A RAILWAY ROUTE ACROSS ITALY, HE BECAME STRANDED ON A CONSTRAINED MOUNTAIN PASS. HE COULD GET NO FURTHER WITHOUT DIGGING A TUNNEL THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS. BUT WHEN I ASKED HIM HOW HE WOULD DO SUCH A THING, HE SAID: "CHEESE." AND INDEED, A FEW DAYS LATER, THERE WERE CHEESE WHEELS HANGING ALL OVER THE PLACE. FOR A WHILE IT SEEMED THAT HE HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE CAT AND MICE IN HIS CLOSET, BUT THEN THEY STARTED TO APPEAR AGAIN. WHEN I ASKED HIM WHY HE DID THIS, HE SAID: "FOOD." HE WAS VERY FOND OF SAYING THESE THINGS OUT LOUD, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE WERE EATING AT THE DINNER TABLE. THAT'S WHERE HE ALWAYS HAD ME PINNED DOWN WITH HIS STRANGE EXPLANATIONS. IT WASN'T LONG BEFORE HIS PARENTS NOTICED THAT SOMETHING WAS OFF. THEY WENT TO THE DOCTOR, WHO TOLD THEM TO BRING THEIR SON TO A PSYCHIATRIST. BUT THE DOCTORS DIDN'T HAVE AN ANSWER FOR WHAT WAS GOING ON EITHER. SO THEY SENT HIM TO ANOTHER HOSPITAL. AND STILL NOTHING CHANGED! NOBODY COULD FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH THE BOY. HE STAYED IN THAT HOSPITAL FOR YEARS. UNTIL ONE DAY THE HEAD PHYSICIAN DECIDED TO GIVE UP AND PUT HIM IN A NURSING HOME. THE CAT AND MOUSE CONTINUED TO APPEAR AROUND THE HOUSE, SOMETIMES EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. EVERY TIME THE BOY SAW THEM, HE GOT SO UPSET THAT HE WOULD START SCREAMING AND THROWING THINGS EVERYWHERE. ONE DAY, AFTER THREE MONTHS IN THE NURSING HOME, HE SCREAMED AT A NURSE AND THREATENED HER WITH VIOLENCE. THEN SHE CALLED THE POLICE, WHO CAME IMMEDIATELY BUT COULDN'T FIND ANY REASON FOR THE BOY'S BEHAVIOR. SO THEY TOOK HIM AWAY TO A PSYCHIATRIC WARD. THERE, HE WAS DIAGNOSED AS DELUSIONAL AND WAS TREATED ACCORDINGLY. HE SPENT MOST OF HIS LIFE IN VARIOUS HOSPITALS LIKE THAT. IN THE END, HE DIED IN A HOSPICE. AFTER THAT, I VISITED HIS GRAVE EVERY SUNDAY EVENING UNTIL I MOVED TO GERMANY. ONCE OR TWICE, I BROUGHT SOME CHEESE ALONG WITH ME. I BELIEVE THAT HIS STORY IS RELEVANT TO OUR CURRENT SITUATION. IF YOU ASK ME WHETHER THERE ARE ANY SIMILARITIES BETWEEN MY FATHER'S WORK AND MY OWN, I'D SAY: YES. WE BOTH LOVE CHEESE! MY FATHER USED TO SAY: "THE MORE CHEESE, THE BETTER!" I'M QUITE SURE THAT HE WOULD AGREE THAT THE SAME GOES FOR THE GERMANS. MY NAME IS, UGH, BOTTLE O' SCRUMPY. AND I AM A GOOD DEMO MAN.. THE END! | image tagged in the demoman,tf2 | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
200 views, 3 upvotes, 5 comments

SCOUT OR SPY CHOICE

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225 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment

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eeeeeaaaahhhhhhh demoman

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bowl

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The?

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IDK dont ask me

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