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Yeah, that sounds about right.

Yeah, that sounds about right. | Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today may burn your ass tomorrow. | image tagged in forrest gump,memes | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
4,773 views, 5 upvotes

It's an oldie.

It's an oldie. | Hey, Carl - you fell asleep half way through that movie.  Do you want to know how it ended? Sure, Dad - what happened after I fell asleep? Well, the pilot of the Violet Unicorn lost an eye in an accident. That sucks.  He was supposed to fly all of those people home from that desert island. He could still fly them home in the Violet Unicorn - even with the one eye!  Do you know why? I'm going to regret this, aren't I? He was a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people freighter! *sigh* Nobody remembers that song, Dad. | image tagged in memes,rick and carl long,rick and carl | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
2,723 views, 5 upvotes

Why are cyclists so slow?

Why are cyclists so slow? | You bicyclists are the most self-entitled people I've ever seen.  Get OFF THE ROAD. We have as much right to use the roads as automobiles! The taxes that I pay for tags and gasoline paid to pave that road!  All you paid was sales tax on your spandex riding shorts! You drivers should be watching carefully for us!  We get flung like office chairs when you hit us! Even small children have the sense not to zip in and out of traffic like you morons!  When you follow traffic laws like the rest of us, we'll treat you with the same respect of a 2,500 pound vehicle instead of a 250 pound nitwit! | image tagged in american chopper template,american chopper argument,memes | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
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1,644 views, 5 upvotes, 2 comments
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1,206 views, 4 upvotes, 2 comments

Just start with why you're calling.

466 views, 6 upvotes

I made you look!

579 views, 6 upvotes

He went home early, so I left them on his desk.

1,008 views, 5 upvotes, 1 comment

Ambiguously Worded Questions

2,191 views, 5 upvotes

Hörky barfy pukey

940 views, 5 upvotes, 1 comment

Why would you need to?

1,591 views, 5 upvotes