[verse 2]
Little hellions, kids feelin' rebellious
Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feelin' like prisoners, helpless
'Til someone comes along on a mission and yells, "Bitch"
A visionary, vision is scary
Could start a revolution, pollutin' the airwaves
A rebel, so just let me revel and bask
In the fact that I got everyone kissin' my ass
And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe
For you to see so damn much of my ass, you asked for me?
Well, I'm back, da-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na
Fix your bent antenna, tune it in, and then I'm gonna
Enter in and up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention, back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kid's ears and nesting
Testing, "Attention, please"
Feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free
A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me?
I've created a monster
'Cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more
They want Shady, I'm chopped liver
Well, if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that'll jump-start my heart quicker
Than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By the doctor when I'm not cooperating
When I'm rockin' the table while he's operating (Hey)
You waited this long, now stop debating
'Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job, Ms. Cheney
But your husband's heart problem's complicating
So the FCC won't let me be
Or let me be me, so let me see
They tried to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty without me
So come on and dip, bum on your lips
F**k that, cum on your lips and some on your tits
And get ready, 'cause this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits (F**k you, Debbie)
I'm like a head trip to listen to
'Cause I'm only givin' you things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it (Err), I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder, "How can kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm goin', when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirting
Pinchin' nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings (Ch, puh)
Or in the parkin' lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a f**k!"
With his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Chorus]
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
[Outro]
Ha-ha
I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
F**k it, let's all stand up
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (Nope)
Well, I do, so f**k him, and f**k you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win? Wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Yo, shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (Agh)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a f**k like me
Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
[Chorus]
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
