My brother was once having one of those nights, except he was old enough to understand the absurdity of the idea of a monster under his bed, so in deliberate defiance of his fear, he draped his arm over the side of the bed for the monster to gnaw at. He kept it there for awhile to prove to himself that there was no monster. There was indeed not a monster under the bed, but unbeknownst to him, there WAS a cat under the bed with a case of the midnight zoomies which made said cat feel very aggressive at that moment. And a cat can only restrain itself for so long before its base instincts take over.

I think he has a lock of white hair on his head from that experience.

Looks pretty staged to me

You forgot about Captain Sum Ting Wong.

"I'm being held hostage by a serial killer who's getting ready to kill me any minute, and I was only just now able to get to my phone to get this text out without him noticing. What should I do?"