I'm an sapphic queerplatonic woman. In case you aren't familiar, queerplatonic implies that I'm asexual. And I'm not lesbian, if I was I would have just said that. I'm emotionally attracted to women, but not physically because I'm physically attracted to men, just not interested in being with a man or having sex. I'm also biromantic, but it's only in the context of a queerplatonic relationship with a woman (which doesn't exactly fit the traditional definition of romance) or in a traditional heterosexual romantic relationship with a man, which I'm not interested in. Men are hot, looking at them males me feel good, that's as far as it goes. I just naturally get along with women and completely understand queerplatonic relationships with them. Romance with men is amazing, but it feels like I'm following cookbook instructions to make the relationship work. I understand women and need someone who shows affection and love how women typically do.
It can feel like ambiguous confusion and a sense that something isn't quite right but you just can't put your finger on it or it can feel like you're trapped in the body of a monster stuck in a living nightmare that's worse than the nightmares while you're asleep all stuck in one long dissociative spiral to the bottom of a dark put that never ends. Or it could be anything in between. You generally feel like you're living in someone else's body and being expected to live their life. You're split in two with an inside and outside part that do not form a single whole but two parts.
