Allow me to present the alternative
Heavens requirements are just that you're not a piece of shit.
People throw it way out of wack with shit like "oh you can't swear, you can't be anything other than straight, you gotta believe in god" no.
He doesn't care
From what I've heard so far, honestly, you'd have good chances of making it
Bc if the basics of religion are true at least (from what I know and believe at least), god loves everyone so if there's a reason for them to get in to heaven, he'd let them.
But all that aside, offing yourself (mods are picky about my words now) usually doesn't even work and f**ks things up for everyone
Just try to make the best of shit while you still can and idk, talk to someone who can help irl
idk who but just someone who can do something when shit is hard or just in general
damn
honestly I'd just try to compensate a bit less for your own sake, and try to hold out for a little longer at least
Bc the other "option" just has worse effects
And besides, unless you go straight up to the shining gates I bet purgatory or hell would be worse
