I like it, but I may not be the best one to ask. I tend to over think mine a lot! If you really do want my opinion though, I'd drop the "attempts to" and make it "travels back", but like I said I tend to overthink!
[deleted]
1 up, 9y,
2 replies
Is there anyone else you think ould be good to ask? I will take your opinion on board, though.