It's been a while since I deleted my main and became an absolute peice of shit. And I'm wondering, why am I here? I feel like my actions cannot be fixed and my desperation for entriement ruined the hell out of me. When I returned since I quitted back in 2025 during manticore's drama, I only wanted to take a quick peek to see how everyone's doing. I did quit again but I cameback and saw that I can finally recover my main, in which I did. I never planned to go this far by spamming the stream and ruinging my reputation all because of some dumb trollfeeders, but I did. What purpose do I even serve now? Back then people liked me because I was interesting, andif I kept going like this I would've received mod too. But I deleted my account, made matters worse for myself. And now that I stopped, I just don't feel like I belong in here anymore. None of this matters yes, but it reminds me that I do stupid shit because I want negative attention. I can still be forgiven, it's just that I can't still believe this is me, a fatass douche loser who ruined his own relations with everyone. It only matters to me this much because I was greedy and wanted more and more. And now that I have found new enjoyments, I still can't enjoy anything. I actually liked using this site, to post in a community, because I was never part of one before, I only used yt which explains my obsession to this site. Yes, I do care what people think of me, it's that every time I get what I want I still want more and more and more. I don't need a therapist, this is not a deep thing, it's just the effects of being overindulged. I can't seem to enjoy anything lately, and if I do, it means nothing at best. I can't even enjoy posting in this site anymore, all because of what I did. Again I wouldn't care much but I'm too bored to not vent about this. I just want people to accept me again, as a good user who was chill, not an asshole alt spammer, but it won't happen, so why bother? If any of you pull up any reasons to why I should stay in here, be my guest. I can't enjoy anything anymore.
