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Kingkanju: What are you doing here?
Peril: I could ask you the same question.
Kingkanju: I live here. This is my house.
Peril: I should probably ask you a different question.

Tsunami: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Swordtail: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
Snowfall: Three of us saw it, Swordtail. How do you explain that?
Swordtail: *points at Peril* Sleep deprivation. *points at Snowfall* Paranoia. *points at Umber* Delusional personality disorder.

Kinkanju I'm crying
It's kinkajou lol

Blue: "Look, it even has lidl leaves."

Sundew: "Yeah, that's how trees work, you uncultured, blue twig."

Blue: :C

Clay: A butterfly! Hey, little guy, gal or nonbinary pal!
Luna: Can a butterfly be nonbinary?
Clay: I mean, maybe? I don't judge.
Winter, staring dreamily out of the window: Ah, have you ever imagine having butterfly wings? Then-
Glory: Then it would be inconvenient as f**k. Your wings would smack every doorframe and your clothes would have to have holes in the back.
Tsunami : Also, your wing's paper thin, so even a six year old aimed a NERF gun at it would... Yeah...
Platypus: *sips coffee* According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a-
Winter: No, nononono. You f**kers have already shattered my dream, you don't get the f**king privilege to make that reference.
Luna: Also, it's about a butterfly, not a bee... Why would you make that reference?
Clay: You clearly have not lived with them long enough.

Janitor

Sunny: *talking about Peril’s funeral* You do know we’re burying a great person today!
Deathbringer, shocked: Did someone else die?

Tsunami: *Locks Sundew in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.
Sundew: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?

Sunny: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.

Tsunami, teaching Turtle to drive: Okay, you're driving and Winter and Snowfall walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Turtle: Oh, definitely Snowfall. I could never hurt Winter.
Tsunami, ma--aging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

Qubli: Oh, to be a bored heir to the throne who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener.
Sundew: Oh, to be a cute gardener who secretly places roses in the heir’s room because they are in love with them.
Turtle: Oh, to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener up the wall for their secret deliveries in the middle of the night.
Umber: Oh, to be the heir’s best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other.
Blue: Oh, to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending.
Starflight: Oh, to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the heir’s personal life and who dies of dysentery at age 23.

Swordtail: Today, Turtle took my phone, and in five minutes, they sent high resolution close-up photos of Luna to the following people: Umber, Sundew, Moon, the neighbors, the bank, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.

Deathbringer: I told Winter to grab snacks for everyone.
Umber, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?
*Deathbringer, Winter, and Sunny raise their hands*

Clay: I want to be like a caterpillar.
Blue: Explain.
Clay: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful.
Tsunami: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right?
Clay:
Clay: That's just another highlight!
Snowfall: I'm at a loss for words!
Starflight: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Snowfall yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.
Deathbringer: It’s the gift that keeps giving!
Umber: It’s the flower that keeps blooming!
Sundew: It’s the boat that keeps sailing!
Winter: It’s the serial killer that keeps stabbing!
Tsunami, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!
Peril: …What does that even mean?!
Tsunami: Didn't you die?!
Kingkanju: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.
Fatespeaker: Starflight, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong?
Starflight: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before?
Fatespeaker: I’m never asking you anything ever again.
Peril: The joy of hanging out with Swordtail. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and they bite the tip of a marker off.
Deathbringer: It'll be fun.
Deathbringer: We'll make a day of it.
Deathbringer: Come on you punk bitch.
Starflight: I can't believe I have to say this.
Starflight: I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.
Clay, turning to Moon: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.
Tsunami: How stupid do you think I am?!
Blue: You really want an honest answer to that?

*The Squad is playing Minecraft together*
Turtle: Ooh, a village! You know what that means!
Winter: Hostile takeover?
Luna: Genocide?
Kingkanju: Steal everything!
Turtle: No, I meant-
Moon: I didn’t know we would fight the ender dragon this early! A village worth of beds isn’t enough!
Clay: WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING?!?!
Turtle: …I was going to say move into the village and become the mayors…
Moon: Ohhhh! That sounds like a better idea.
Clay: Agreed.
Fatespeaker: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Clay: Okay, but what is updog?
Blue: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Luna: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Peril: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Sunny: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Fatespeaker: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Luna: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Blue: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Clay: What’s a henway??
Fatespeaker: Oh, about five pounds.
Swordtail: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip!
Kingkanju: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill!
Clay: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out!
Sundew: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times!
Blue: Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up!
Bumblebee : Throw a brick at someone to kill them.

Clay: Sunny, what if there are monsters?
Sunny: Don’t worry, we’re top of the food chain.
Much later…

Clay, lying awake at night: I am the monster.
Sundew: How was your day, Tsunami?
Tsunami: Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school.
Sundew: Oh? And what does that mean?
Tsunami: It means I can't bully anyone for a whole week.
Tsunami: But who gets which pencil?
Swordtail: Since they're my things, I get the good one, Umber gets the broken one and you don't get one because f**k you.

*Kingkanju is shopping with Tsunami*
Kingkanju: Can I get a silenced pistol?
Tsunami: If there’s one on sale.

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.
Sundew: I choose to waive that right!
Sundew: *screaming*

Starflight: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight?
Umber: Why?
Starflight: Swordtail fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours.
Sunny: Qubli doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Winter: I lost my fish, can you help me find it?
Fatespeaker, cooking the fish: What? I couldn't hear you, please speak up.
Sunny: Don’t you have any dignity, Fatespeaker?
Fatespeaker: Uh, no.
Moon: Go and tell Peril why you insisted on putting a normal-sized carrot in a bag of baby carrots.
Sunny:
Moon: Do it, tell them what you told me earlier.
Sunny, stuttering: I-it's because... th-they need adult supervision...
Peril:
Qubli: Deathbringer, you need to calm down.
Deathbringer, slamming their fists on the table: BUT HOW CAN IT BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR?!
Starflight: I have a question.
Snowfall: Shoot.
Starflight: Is the S or C in scent silent?
Luna: F**k you, I’m going to be thinking about this all day.
Snowfall: Okay well, cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’m gonna say the S is silent.
Starflight: Okay, but sent is also spelled the same way.
Luna: Google says that the C was added in the late seventeenth century, so I guess the S is silent.
Deathbringer: Plot twist, both the S and the C are silent and the E actually makes the sss sound.
Luna: Deathbringer is not allowed to talk anymore.

<b>Turtle:</b> *runs up to doors* <br> <b>Turtle:</b> Be careful, Winter! These doors say "Blast Danger"!
Sunny: Blue, please calm down.
Blue: I asked for two large fries!
Blue: *dumps fries onto table*
Blue: But all they did was give me a MILLION F**KING LITTLE ONES!
Moon: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.
Blue &amp; Tsunami in the back of Kingkanju's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!
Snowfall: We have food at home.
Kingkanju: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough*
Blue &amp; Tsunami: YAYYYYYY!
Kingkanju: *orders one black coffee and leaves*Moon: I love hearing Winter shouting at someone else. It makes such a nice change.Swordtail, whispering to Peril, who's on the phone with Deathbringer: Ask them something!
Peril: How are you feeling?
Deathbringer: Fine.
Swordtail: Something personal!
Peril: At what age did you first get your period?Blue: I can’t believe we have to be stuck in this room together!
Tsunami, swallowing the key: Truly unfortunate.Moon, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Sunny: Hey.
Kingkanju: Hi.
Snowfall: Hello.
Qubli: Hey!
Moon: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Luna: We were out of Doritos.
Kingkanju: I’m here for the cult stuff.
Snowfall: How did you find us?
Kingkanju: I saw your ad on craigslist.

*Umber is speaking on the phone*
Umber: Yeah, I'm with Sunny.
Sunny: Im f**king dying-
Umber: Yep, they're okay.
Sunny: I have a knife in my chest!
Umber: No, they can't talk right now. They're sleeping, sorry.
Sunny: IM BLEEDING OUT-
Fatespeaker, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.
Kingkanju: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.
Luna: Snowfall noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago.
Turtle: This reminds me of the Snowfall who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi.
Luna: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Snowfall.
Swordtail: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Snowfall:
Snowfall: I'm gonna tell them.
Starflight: Don't you dare.
Luna: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!
Swordtail, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack.
Kingkanju, deadpanning at Swordtail: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.
Sunny: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly?
Moon: Not again!
Sunny: No. Seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land, no exceptions.
Snowfall: Just wait until you hear about whales.
Sunny: What now?
Tsunami: You're smiling. What happened?
Luna: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?
Winter: Snowfall tripped and fell down the stairs today.
Starflight: How do I ask someone out?
Umber: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two.
Starflight: No!
Tsunami: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car.
Starflight: Stop!
Luna: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream.
Starflight: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory.
Moon: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Sunny?
Sunny: Swordtail, easily.
Swordtail, laughing: What the f**k, man.
Sunny: Well, Clay would be too easy. They’d probably be into it.
Clay, now standing in the doorway: What the f**k, man!?
Luna: When I see really attractive people like Peril, I just laugh because I know if we lived in the Aztec culture, they'd be sacrificed for their beauty.
Clay: I mean, that's one way to cope with not being attractive.
Sunny: Works for me.

Swordtail: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.
Sunny: What the f**k kind of Subway are you going to?
Kingkanju: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.
Peril: Guys.
*In a group chat*
Turtle: A pegan just flew into my window.
Deathbringer: Pegan?
Starflight: A what?
Snowfall: Ah yes, my favourite bird, Pegan.
Fatespeaker: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO!
Snowfall: Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window.
Fatespeaker: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can't relate, I have penguins flying into my window.
Turtle: I literally just made a typo-
Turtle: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?
Swordtail: Schrödinger's boys.
Winter: F**K!
Starflight: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?
Kingkanju: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.
Kingkanju: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.
Turtle: ...
Swordtail: ...
Winter: ...
Starflight: ...
Kingkanju: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.
Turtle: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Umber: 'Prettiest Smile'
Sunny: 'Nicest Personality'
Kingkanju: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Swordtail: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
Qubli: Where's Swordtail, Fatespeaker, and Snowfall?
Snowfall: They're playing hide and seek.
Qubli: Where?
Snowfall: I don't think you get how this game works.
Tsunami: Time for plan G.
Luna: Don’t you mean plan B?
Tsunami: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Winter: What about plan D?
Tsunami: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Deathbringer: What about plan E?
Tsunami: I’m hoping not to use it. Snowfall dies in plan E.
Snowfall: I like plan E.

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Blue, with Snowfall and Tsunami behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes…three.
Blue: Oh, my God— What the f**k!?
Police: Wha-
Blue: Bumblebee F**KING FELL OFF!
Blue: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?! HE COULD HAVE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS, HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!!!
Swordtail: Blue-
Swordtail: It- it was just an ant-
Clay: Get on my level!
Bumblebee : Unfortunately, to "get on your level" I'd need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.
Kingkanju: Hey, Swordtail! Did you know your my BFFLWYLION?
Swordtail: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Kingkanju: Best Friend For Life Whether You Like It Or Not.
Swordtail:
Swordtail: That’s one way to say it, I guess…

Clay: My mom is calling… hi mom.
Starflight: Come on guys, stop. They’re trying to talk to their mom.
Qubli: *loud fake sexual noises*
Sunny: EVERYONE SHUT THE F**K UP!
Moon: *is asleep*
Bumblebee : *gets really close to the phone* Tell her I said hi.
Swordtail: Hey guys, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
Sundew, Umber, and Clay: No!
Kingkanju: Alright, that’s it, you guys. What happened out there?
Sundew: What? We took a walk. Nothing happened. I came back with nothing all over me.
Kingkanju: What does that mean?
Swordtail: Come on, what happened? Umber?
Umber: Alright.
Sundew: No. Umber, we swore we’d never tell!
Clay: They’ll never understand.
Umber: But we have to say something. We have to get it out. It’s eating me alive.
Umber: Sundew got stung by a jellyfish!
Sundew: Alright! I got stung. Stung bad. I couldn’t stand. I- I couldn’t walk.
Clay: We were two miles from the house. We were scared and alone. We didn’t think we could make it.
Sundew: I was in too much pain.
Umber: And I was tired from digging a huge hole.
Clay: And then Umber remembered something.
Umber: I’d seen this thing in the Discovery Channel.
Swordtail: Wait a minute, I saw that. On the Discovery Channel. Yeah, about jellyfish and how if you— EW! You peed on yourself?
Kingkanju and Qubli: EW!!
Sundew: You can’t say that! You don’t know! I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain. Anyway, I tried, but I couldn’t... bend that way. So... *looks at Umber*
Swordtail, Kingkanju, and Qubli: Ew!
Umber: That’s right. I stepped up. They’re my friend and they needed help. If I had to, I’d pee on any one of you.
Umber: Only, uh, I couldn’t. I got stage fright. I wanted to help but there was too much pressure. So, I, um, I turned to Clay.
Clay: Umber kept screaming at me, “Do it now. Do it. Do it now.” Sometimes, late at night I can still hear the screaming.
Umber: That’s because sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.

Tsunami: I don't like bugs. Winter, are you even listening to me?
Winter: I seem to have misplaced my ant farm.
Tsunami, at Deathbringer: MOOOOOM!
Blue: Comparing Fatespeaker and Sundew is like comparing apples and oranges.
Fatespeaker: We’re both unique in our own ways?
Blue: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.
Sundew: Which one of us is the orange?
Snowfall: Die.
Qubli: Please don't die!
Snowfall: DIE!
Qubli: PLEASE DON'T DIE!
Sunny, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant?
Deathbringer, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Qubli wants Snowfall to accept it as their kid.
Winter: Breathe, just breathe.
Peril: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!
Sundew: Awww, that never bothered you before.
Fatespeaker: We’ll get back into there or die trying.
Starflight: No one’s dying.
Fatespeaker: Not with that attitude.

Kingkanju: Good morning.
Swordtail: Good morning.
Clay: Good morning.
Fatespeaker: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Turtle: MORNING MOTHERF**KERS!
Qubli: What do you all intend on majoring in?
Turtle: Respecting women.
Umber: Minecraft.
Winter: Criminal justice and psychology.
Deathbringer: I'm terrified that I’ll lock myself into an interest that I’ll no longer be passionate about in a few years like all the other areas of study I’ve pursued over my life!
Starflight: Minecraft as well.
Turtle: There are three chairs and five kids. What do you do?
Sunny: Get two more chairs.
Moon: Cut each chair in half to make six.
Swordtail: Make them FIGHT for their seats!
Starflight: I would never be near children.
Fatespeaker: Get rid of two kids.
Sundew: Tsunami is so...
Clay: Annoying?
Peril: Cute?
Fatespeaker: Funny?
Luna: Weird?
Sundew: I don't know, maybe if y'all let me FINISH for ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'd tell you!
Blue: Bye Winter! Bye Turtle! Bye Moon! Bye Deathbringer! Bye Winter!
Umber: You said ‘bye Winter’ twice.
Blue: I like Winter.
Deathbringer: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Starflight: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents.
Deathbringer: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you.
Kingkanju: Actually I did the math, Starflight would have $225, not $0.15.
Starflight: Fam I’m right here....
Luna: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Deathbringer: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Luna: Sorry I only have a dollar.
Deathbringer: :(
Kingkanju: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Starflight would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent.
Luna: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.
Kingkanju: You can buy anything you want with $22,500.
Sunny: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice.
Kingkanju: Apply juice to what.
Sunny: Directly to the forehead.
Starflight: Great chat everyone.

Fatespeaker: Blue, Winter, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing?
Blue, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Winter is sitting atop: Oh nothing much.
Winter: I love you too :)
Peril: Ladies, gentlemen and Turtle, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld!
Clay: A llama?
Peril: No.
Clay: A baby llama?
Peril: No!
Clay: A baby llama with a little hat on?
Peril: NO!
Snowfall: What's wrong with you?
Bumblebee : Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.
Sundew: I would do anything for money.
*later*
Sundew, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!
Qubli: Me and my girl don't argue. She tells me to shut up and I do.
Swordtail: Where are my f**king keys?
Peril: Swordtail, Tsunami is around, can you say it a little nicer?
Swordtail: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my F**KING KEYS?!
Fatespeaker: Hey, what’s your Netflix password?
Umber: ihopeyoudie
Fatespeaker: Thank you!
Kingkanju: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

<b>Turtle:</b> *runs up to doors* <br> <b>Turtle:</b> Be careful, Winter! These doors say "Blast Danger"!

Snowfall: So what color are the walls of your room?
Kingkanju: My walls are white I think.
Turtle: They’re lying, I’ve been to their room, it’s pale yellow.
Kingkanju: No, it’s white. It just looks yellow because of the ceiling light.
Turtle: Your wall looks like someone rubbed butter on them.
Sundew: Your walls look like someone threw dandelions at them.
Luna: Your walls look like someone put post-it notes on them for 3 hours.
Sunny: Your walls look like you bought a can of yellow paint, and instead of opening it, you just sat there thinking about the possibilities.
Turtle: The color of your walls is the La Croix of yellow.
Blue: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!
Sundew: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Moon: More or less, I guess...
Kingkanju: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!
Turtle: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.
Snowfall: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!
Peril: Wait, hold up, why you draw yourself like that?
Snowfall: Uh, like what?
Peril: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs.
Snowfall: Uh, this is what I look like.
Peril:
Snowfall: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE!
Peril: Okay, then I want big beefy arms. Hot ones.
Fatespeaker: I wanna have a cowboy hat!
Snowfall: Okay, arms and hat. *draws them*
Moon: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too!
Snowfall: You can't just take Fatespeaker's hat idea, Moon! They thought it up all by themself like a good person! Come up with your own thing!
Moon: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL!
Kingkanju: Put Moon on one of those stupid baby tricycles.
Moon: NO!!
Snowfall: Tricycle, done. *draws it* Sundew, want anything?
Kingkanju, making finger guns: Pew pew.
Snowfall: A blaster?! No, that's not really our style, Sundew.
Sundew, making finger guns: Pew pew.
Snowfall: You know what, okay. *draws it* But it's just for holding, not for shooting.
CTurtle: *dies*
Kingkanju: Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months!
Bumblebee : Bullshit. One month.
Tsunami: Nah, half a month.
Moon, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TURTLE JUST DIED!
Clay, scratching chin in thought: One week.

Deathbringer with a gun to Kingkanju's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?
Kingkanju: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

Deathbringer: Can we talk? One 10 to another?
Tsunami: I’m an 11, but continue.

Umber: Do you want some tea?
Sundew: What are the options?
Umber: Yes or no.

Clay: Everything’s fine, Deathbringer.
Deathbringer: Clay, I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

Luna: I have lots of friends!
Clay: Name one.
Luna: Well, there’s-
Clay: Name one you haven’t gotten incredibly angry at.
Luna: Hey, that’s not fair, then there isn’t any!

Qubli: Bonjour, Tsunami. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?
Tsunami: No, I don't want to sleep with you.
Qubli: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

*The Squad is at Home Depot*
Snowfall: *Fell in the cacti display while wandering around the garden section*
Tsunami: *Shitting in the display toilets*
Bumblebee : *Tokyo Drifting one of those flatbed carts down the aisles*
Deathbringer: *Stealing paint chips for aesthetic purposes*
Qubli: *Just wanted some go***mn lightbulbs and everyone ruined it*
Clay: *In the car sleeping*
Turtle: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
Kingkanju: What if it bites me and it dies?!
Turtle: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Kingkanju, learn to listen.
Clay: What if it bites itself and I die?
Turtle: That's voodoo.
Luna: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Turtle: That's correlation, not causation.
Fatespeaker: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Turtle: That's kinky.
Swordtail: Oh my god.
Luna: Between Sundew, Deathbringer, Kingkanju, and Snowfall -- if you had to -- who would you punch?
Turtle: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.
Luna: Sundew?
Turtle: Yeah, but I don't know why.
Swordtail: Sunny... How do I begin to explain Sunny?
Luna: Sunny is flawless.
Bumblebee : I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
Fatespeaker: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
Peril: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Fatespeaker: How would you like your pancakes?
Sunny: Plain.
Peril: With sprinkles!
Turtle: Chocolate chips.
Luna: Potatoes.
*Sunny, Peril, and Turtle look at Luna*
Luna: What? They're good.

Starflight: It'll be fun.
Starflight: We'll make a day of it.
Starflight: Come on you punk bitch.
Kingkanju: I can't believe I have to say this.
Kingkanju: I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.

Sundew: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*
Tsunami: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?
Sundew: I—
Sundew: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

Bumblebee : There is no i in happyness…
Starflight: There is if you f**king spell it right.

Bumblebee : Happy Throwback Thursday! Here’s a throwback to when Deathbringer ate an entire tube of lipstick.
Deathbringer, whining: But why would it be cherry-flavored if you can’t eat it?!

Sunny: *on the phone with Kingkanju* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit.
Kingkanju: You’re pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you.
Sunny: Maybe.

Sunny: I feel awful about killing you.
Moon:
Sunny: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

Computer: Please enter a password.
Bumblebee : *types in Tsunami*
Computer: Your password is too weak.
Bumblebee : How f**king DARE YOU-