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I've created a monster
'Cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more
They want Shady, I'm chopped liver
Well, if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that'll jump-start my heart quicker
Than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By the doctor when I'm not cooperating
When I'm rockin' the table while he's operating (Hey)
You waited this long, now stop debating
'Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job, Ms. Cheney
But your husband's heart problem's complicating
So the FCC won't let me be
Or let me be me, so let me see
They tried to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty without me
So come on and dip, bum on your lips
F**k that, cum on your lips and some on your tits
And get ready, 'cause this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits (F**k you, Debbie)

[verse 2]
Little hellions, kids feelin' rebellious
Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feelin' like prisoners, helpless
'Til someone comes along on a mission and yells, "Bitch"
A visionary, vision is scary
Could start a revolution, pollutin' the airwaves
A rebel, so just let me revel and bask
In the fact that I got everyone kissin' my ass
And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe
For you to see so damn much of my ass, you asked for me?
Well, I'm back, da-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na
Fix your bent antenna, tune it in, and then I'm gonna
Enter in and up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention, back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kid's ears and nesting
Testing, "Attention, please"
Feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free
A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me?

without me