Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay... I don't know what your life is like, and I don't know if you have access to support. But there are certainly things to consider in order to at least buy some time.
Ending your life doesn't stop life from getting worse, it just makes it impossible to ever get better.
You also just pass your suffering on. Even if some people who should care might not, there are people who do care. Your girlfriend, your friends, your parents, whoever. Someone is guaranteed to care about you.
The things that stop me from doing it in my suicidal phases are the facts that
I don't want to make my friends and family suffer or traumatize people who are present,
I would never experience some things that I want to experience,
I would never get to transition, to feel the euphoria of transitioning.
Life just sucks when all you know right now is the bottom of the pit, I get this feeling. But suicide is a decision that can never be undone. You will get into different circumstances than what you might now have. I'm seriously concerned for you. I don't want to force you to live, but please consider living. Before you do whatever you're planning to do, please take a step back, take some deep breaths and evaluate whether you actually want this, whether you can find a new life if you don't do it. Please.