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Sundew: I won a new phone in a race.
Blue: Huh? What kind of race lets you win a phone, Sundew?
Sundew: A race between the store owner, the cop, and me.

Platapus: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Kinkanju finally snaps and commits murder?
Umber: I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to them.

Luna: Have you done this before?
Starflight : Well, Luna, it's like if you read the script you come better prepared.
Cricket : That's not what we do in the US, we don't read things.
Luna: I don't read, Starflight .

Platapus: Do crabs think people walk sideways?
Dugong: ...Platapus, what the hell.

Snowfall: What do you want for breakfast, Kinkanju?
Kinkanju: Gay Cheerios.
Snowfall: I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING FRUIT LOOPS THAT!!

Sunny: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY)
Peril: What's that?
Sunny: Remorse code.
Peril: I'm even angrier now.

Snowfall: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.
Dugong, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

Moon : Why were you up yesterday until 3am?
Tsunami: How did you know I was up until 3am?
Lynx: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.

Peril: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that god is real.

Clay: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Platapus: I'm a knife.
Quokka, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

Dugong: There are some things beyond our understanding. We must accept them and learn from them. Because these moments of crisis are also potential moments of faith. A time, when we either come together or fall apart. Nature always has a way of balancing itself. The only question is, what part will we play?
Kinkanju: Did you just make that up?
Dugong: No. I read it in a fortune cookie once.
Kinkanju:
Dugong: A really long fortune cookie.

🐢 : Are you free tomorrow?
Platapus: No, I’m f**king expensive every day.

Luna: Ayo, what the F**K is this?!?
Cricket , sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

Clay: As you know I keep a list of all my friends in order of how likely they are to betray me.
Dugong: Where am I on the list?
Clay: Well I can’t tell you that because then you’ll quickly move up or down depending on your reaction.

Kinkanju: Hey Blue?
Blue: Yeah?
Kinkanju: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
Blue:
Blue: ...What.

Winter: Did you buy eggs like I asked?
Peril: Even better!
Winter: What the f**k did you-
Peril: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.
Dugong: Which one? I have seven.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.
Dugong: Which one? I have seven.
Snowfall, distantly: HEY!!!

Sora: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass.
Sunny: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL!
Sora: …Your point?

Tsunami: If you think I’m playing favorites, you’re wrong. I love all of you equally!
Tsunami, earlier: I don’t care for Starflight.

Luna: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning!
Winter: I'll hate my self in the morning regardless.

Sundew: We need to distract these guys.
Quokka: Leave it to me.
Quokka: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Sora and; Umber: *immediately begin arguing*

Blue: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.
Tsunami: What the f**k kind of Subway are you going to?
Clay: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.
Peril: Guys.

Lynx, teaching Clay to drive: Okay, you're driving and Starflight and Snowfall walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Clay: Oh, definitely Snowfall. I could never hurt Starflight .
Lynx, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

*The squad is visiting a store late at night to return a DVD for Glory*
Tsunami: I forget—what happens if we don’t return the DVD before midnight?
Snowfall: Then Glory gets charged extra. It’s called a “late fee”.
Clay: Or was it zombie apocalypse? Eh, I don’t remember, but we can’t afford either.

Starflight : Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?
Quokka: Milfs.
Sora: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.
Starflight : Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???
Kinkanju: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.
Kinkanju: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.
Sora: Mom/dad I'd Love to F**k.
Starflight : WAIT, WHAT THE F**K—
Starflight : I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!
Kinkanju: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?
Quokka: What? No! It isn't!
Kinkanju: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!
Sora: Kinkanju...
Kinkanju: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!
Sora: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.
Kinkanju: STARFLIGHT , DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!
Starflight : The word milf has been ruined for me.
Quokka: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!
Sora: Y'all are dumbasses.

Mulberry : Hey bro, what do you want to eat?
Moon : The souls of the innocent!
Starflight : A bagel.
Moon : No!
Starflight : Two bagels.

*the Squad cleaning up*
Luna: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away.
Sundew, to Peril: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

Dugong, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?
Winter: Yeah, sure.
*A few minutes later*
Winter: Here you go.
Dugong:
Winter:
Lynx: Why am I here?

Luna: But what about Umber?
Kinkanju: Don't worry about them.
Kinkanju: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

Peril: Did you hear that!? Lynx just threatened to destroy my lego AT-AT!
Sunny: ...You just threatened to kill them in their sleep.

Peril: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon.
🐢 : Cool.
Peril: Do you know who Joe is?
🐢 : JOE MAMA!
Winter, not even looking up from their phone: Damn, that backfired.

Lynx: I need 28 lightbulbs for 28 ducks.
Dugong: Ducks can’t eat lightbulbs?
Luna: I think that’s the point.
Lynx: Exactly. I want my ducks to glow so I can find them.

Peril, to Platapus: I mean, I get complimented all the time-
Sundew: *starts cackling*
Peril: I do!
Sundew: *laughs harder*

Dugong: Okay, what does A stand for?
Sora: Arson.
Dugong: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for?
Sora: Barson.
Peril: *laughter*
Dugong: What stands for C?
Sora: Commit arson.
Peril: Oooo. Dugong: D!
Sora: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson.
Peril: *more laughter*****

🐢 : What’s your name?
**Clay, whispering to Mulberry :** Can I tell them my real name?
**Mulberry :** No!
**Clay:** I’m… Mulberry .
**Mulberry , whispering to themselves:** The ONE TIME they get my name right…

Snowfall, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."
Snowfall: THERE. Now send it.
Starflight : Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to-
Snowfall: JUST DO IT!
later
Kinkanju: So what does it say?
Platapus, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...."
Kinkanju:
Platapus:
Kinkanju: Gross-

Umber: Those darn tall old people.
Snowfall: Darn em' indeed.
Lynx: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough.
Platapus: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead.
The Squad:
Platapus: Hahaha.
Platapus: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?

Cricket : It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!
Moon : Merry crisis.
Mulberry : Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.
Luna: Hoe hoe hoe.
Cricket : Guys, please.

Moon : Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??
Luna: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔
Winter: Why were you microwaving a lemon???
Luna: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.
Glory: Did you burn an orange too? How???
Luna: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Blue: Isn’t it weird how we pay money to see other people?
Peril: You mean movies?
Glory: Concerts?
Snowfall: Prostitutes?
Blue: Wha…N-no, I mean glasses, what the f**k-

*🐢 and Platapuss are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff*
🐢 : oh my god, Platapuss, backwards!
Platapuss: Really, 🐢 ? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do.

☀️ : We’re kind of missing something guys.
Quokka: Cohesion?
Glory: Teamwork?
Starlight: A general sense of what we’re doing?
Swordtail: And Sora is not here.
Quokka: Oh, and that, yeah.

🔵 : What’s your biggest fear?
Kingkanju: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone.
Deathbringer: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.
Platapuss: Zombies.
Kingkanju: ...
Deathbringer: ...
Platapuss: BUT they can open doors.

🐢 : All right, y'all! Let's take a vote!
Sora: A secret vote. Everyone close your eyes.
*the Squad closes their eyes*
🧱 : We don't see the result!
Sora: Well, just say your vote out loud.
Peril: Won't we recognize each other's voices?
Fatespeaker: 🐢 has a point.

Dogong: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??
Starlight: So f**k oxygen, I guess.

Swordtail: Why am I not the protagonist of an amazing story…?
Mulberry: You are, though - it’s called “your life.”
Swordtail: Shut the f**k up, I wanna struggle fighting demons not struggle with getting out of bed every day.
Mulberry: But those are your demons.
Swordtail: ...
Swordtail: I am hereby naming you as the antagonist and now it is my sole job to find you and hit you in the face with a chair for that bitch-ass comment you just made.