Your "understanding" is flawed at best. If you pursued another romantically that wanted nothing to do with you and ultimately forced them to live with you and never leave, I'm hoping you would find that at least to be creepy. When a human shows God that he/she won't accept a relationship in this life, He will honor their choice. It is your choice He is honoring. It is your choice that separates you from God eternally. It is your choice that lands you in endless torment. The torment or lack thereof is your choice. He offers a better option. If you end up in eternal "torment", find something reflective and point a fiery finger at your reflection not at the One that offered a more pleasant alternative. I pray that God brings to a point that the only direction left to you is "up" towards Him. Only He knows what your ultimate choice will be. If God doesn't bring you low enough to seek Him, eventually your weeping and wailing will overwhelm even your doubts.