step 1: I declare war on somalia
step 2: inform Hassan Sheikh Mohamud about it
step 3: go to north korea
step 4: because north korea army is so shitty the somali pirates would destroy the borders and I escape to the south
step 5: fly to united states
step 6: somalia smarter than north korea so they know not to invade the land of guns independence and freedom
step 7: there is no step seven. hand over the money or i kill you
