Here's a Hamza mental-health guide i made in case you need it, ma'am (it was designed with men in mind, so you might want to adjust a few things for your case, but the main principles still apply regardless of one's gender) - I hope it helps :>
my mental health is pristine. a few pages (rager reference) but 99% of the time I'm content cus I got smth to look forward to instead of worrying Abt how useless I am
I gotta be honest, pissr is right. If you don't let yourself be helped, you won't improve your mental health. Talk to someone you trust, tell them about everything that bothers you.