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there was once a man who killed himself. the end

One time there was a user that made their sexuality their ENTIRE personality and it was so cringe

Yea ikr how boring can u be?

Lol

How does one laugh at ts

Idk

There’s this one urban legend back in North Augusta where this girl died in the middle school and you can hear the screams on the first floor above the ground on the bridge between parts of the building. This is the most interesting urban legend I heard when I was in the six grade in the middle school.

Damn, that’s creepy

I know, this was like from my art teacher back then or someone, but that is a true urban legend.

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand
He said to the man running the stand
"Hey! Bum-bum-bum, got any grapes?"
The man said, "No, we just sell lemonade
But it's cold, and it's fresh, and it's all home-made
Can I get you a glass?"
The duck said, "I'll pass"
Then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle
'Til the very next day
Bum-bum-bum-bum, bum da-dum
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
He said to the man running the stand
"Hey! Bum-bum-bum, got any grapes?
The man said, "No, like I said yesterday
We just sell lemonade, okay?
Why not give it a try?"
The duck said, "Goodbye"
And then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle
'Til the very next day
Bum-bum-bum-bum, bum da-dum
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
He said to the man running the stand
"Hey! Bum-bum-bum, got any grapes?"
The man said, "Look, this is getting old
I mean, lemonade's all we've ever sold
Why not give it a go?"
The duck said, "How about, no?"
And then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle
And then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle
'Til the very next day
Bum-bum-bum-bum, bum da-dum
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
And he said to the man running the stand
"Hey! Bum-bum-bum, got any grapes?"
The man said, "That's it! If you don't stay away, Duck
I'll glue you to a tree and leave you there all day stuck
So don't get too close!"
The duck said, "Adiós"
Then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle, waddle
'Til the very next day
Bum-bum-bum-bum, bum da-dum
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
And he said to the man running the stand
"Hey! Bum-bum-bum, got any glue?"
"What?"
"Got any glue?"
"No, why would I? Oh!"
"And one more question for you
Got any grapes?"
Bum-bum-bum, bum-bum-bum
And the man just stopped
Then he started to smile
He started to laugh
He laughed for a while
He said, "Come on, duck, let's walk to the store
I'll buy you some grapes
So you won't have to ask anymore"
So they walked to the store
And the man bought some grapes
He gave one to the duck, and the duck said
"Hm, no, thanks, but you know what sounds good?
It would make my day
Do you think this store
Do you think this store
Do you think this store has any lemonade?"
Then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle
And then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle, waddle
And then he waddled away
Waddle, waddle, waddle
'Til the very next day
Bum-bum-bu

10/10 amazing, incredible, the best story I’ve ever heard

a man went to the hospital complaining of severe stomach pain, he had a hard lump on his stomach. when doctors opened him up, they found a live eel living inside of him, and the man had no idea how it got there

Idk how to respond to that. So odd

I, M15, went to Mexico, got to Lake Xochimilco, and f**ked an axolotl in the ass. Hard. But I ended up causing the creature to explode. They just look so motherf**king cute, I swear to god. But let me explain. It all began 5 years ago when I was 10, I first heard of axolotls via the Minecraft 1.17 update bringing awareness to them. I felt so sorry for them, but after I looked up images of what they looked like irl, my sorrow was drowned out by lust. They looked so cute, so soft, so adorable. And I had no idea why. I had never really liked girls, but axolotls [and men] just seemed to fit in that gap in my heart. Particularly, the leucistic ones were the ones I found the most attractive. Throughout my childhood, I never told my parents or any of my siblings, relatives, or friends about this. I was worried that they would never accept me for who I was. They had always generally assumed that I just hadn't found a man yet that I liked.

But, after that fateful day, I swore that one day I would mate myself with a lovely axolotl. And, to me, there seemed like no place better to do so than in an axolotl's natural habitat. But how would I just go and do that? I was twelve. Fast forward twelve years later to now in 2024. I had recently gotten a job and was planning a vacation to Mexico City alone. I simply told my friends and family that I wanted a break from life. Mexico seemed like a plausible-enough place to go vacation to. But, secretly, I would go to Lake Xochimilco, find an axolotl, and make sweet, passionate love to it. And over the course of last week, that's exactly what I did. I had previously read many books on axolotls and learned that axolotls are generally found in the chinampas, or artificial islands, in Lake Xochimilco. I sneaked and creeped up to the lake and made sure nobody saw me, and then I used binoculars, scouring the lake for any chinampas close enough to land for me to feasibly swim to there.

I swam instead of bringing a boat primarily because it's easier to run away without a boat - plus, I didn't want to buy one. I saw one about twenty feet off the coast, so I began swimming. I then found an axolotl. For the very first time in my life, I had seen an axolotl not only in real life but even in its natural habitat. Making love in its natural habitat seemed even more erotic to me. Immediately I undressed. The sheer eroticness of it all caused me to ejaculate very hard into the axolotl, and I soon orgasmed. The axolotl squealed and tensed erratically around my dick before exploding due to the sheer amount of semen that I packed into it. While initially excited that I had just lost my virginity to an axolotl, the explosion that followed about five seconds after shocked me. It turned me off immensely from axolotls. I can say with certainty that from that point in time I never felt sexually attracted to an axolotl ever again. I washed myself off in the lake before putting my clothes back on and swimming back to the coast. Frightened from the entire experience, I took an early flight home back to Chicago. I've decided that I should get my life together and talk to a therapist every Tuesday.

Someone get cursedcomments over here

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major f**king hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

“What’s up Draco?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

Very… creative