Breaking: @elonmusk
just turned on the location spotlight and the entire “Gaza resident” influencer industry & fake IDF soldier industry just imploded.
Turns out the “eyewitness in Rafah living under bombardment” has been live-tweeting from a comfy flat in Islamabad while the only thing exploding is his mum’s pressure cooker.
The “Khan Younis nurse who hasn’t slept in 400 days” is apparently posting between shifts at a call centre in Lahore. Babe, the only IV drip you’ve seen is the chai one.
Congratulations to the “Gaza dad of six hiding in a tent” who’s been rage-sobbing for donations from a rooftop in Dhaka with better Wi-Fi than most of London. Your ‘link in bio’ days are over.
Shout-out to the “Deir al-Balah poet writing by candlelight” who’s actually in Chelyabinsk, Russia, typing manifestos next to a radiator that’s warmer than the entire sob story.
Also, a soecial shout out, to the “IDF snipers in Gaza” accounts that are actually posting from a bedroom in London, sipping tea between sobs for your ‘buy me a coffee’ donations. Busted baby.
The bot farms are naked, the VPNs are crying, and every “northern Gaza survivor” just got outed as a guy in Punjab who’s never met a rocket that wasn’t in Call of Duty.
Grift’s cooked, lads & ladettes. Pack up the fake rubble backdrop and go touch some actual grass. Your mum’s calling you for dinner and the game is finally, gloriously, over.
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