Since the other guy isn't responding

i can summon as many turtles of any kind as i want

They are naturally hostile towards you and have an insatiable hunger. Oh and you can't unsummon them.

theyre not hostile to ONLY me right

No they are only hostile to you

I get a goth Latina futa who loves me

She has a very high libido and does not believe in consent. It is also nearly impossible to prosecute her for any crimes she commits, no matter how much evidence you may have, as she comes from an extremely wealthy family that not only has a team of top-class lawyers with no morals other than what makes them bank, but also has a whole PR team that will slander you if you ever speak out.

Oh and if you try and break up with her, she will put her PR team to good use against you and try to hunt you down with her vast resources.

That will slander you if you ever speak out against her, that is.

Question
Where's the drawback?

I have severe dementia

I have severe dementia

You also get severe sleep apnea

f**k you

f**k you

can change reality around myself to my liking, but i get a warning if it hurts me in any way and a detailed description of said warning and the change won’t destroy any elements or ruin the whole universe or state of matter and i can choose select people around me to not notice the change (a little like that black mirror episode) and i don’t have to control every part of it manually it’s like a super intelligent ai in my head does it for me

The super intelligent ai uses the same LLM that ChatGPT uses, meaning that while reality does warp to your request, it warps via AI image generation. Basically meaning that while you will get your request, the real world would warp into AI slop. This would also mean that you have ChatGPT as a part of your brain, with one of the downsides being that if there is something you want to do, there is always a chance it just says "Sorry, I cannot comply with that request". It can even bar you from having certain thoughts if it doesn't consider it to be "appropriate".

Also in case you haven't realized, you cannot do it fully manually. Only via the AI you've allowed to control your mind. Oh and also the AI won't allow you to kill yourself.

sigh

I have the unique ability to make every cool thing lame, so why not put it to good use?

fr
although id prefer not

I can hypnotize people around me to recreate a scene from the Sopranos out of their will

Your mind control/hypnosis is very energy consuming and takes a lot of willpower, and once you're done, they'll not only know for sure that they've been mind controlled but also they'll know that you did it and what your full name, face, and address is.

Your OWN willpower, in case you're wondering.

worth it lmao

Probability manipulation

It comes in the form of a d-20 dice. You first clearly state out loud what you want to happen then roll it. If it lands on a 20, then what you want will exactly happen. If it lands on a 10, nothing happens. If it lands on a 1, the exact opposite of what you requested will happen. Landing on 11-19 will cause what you want to happen via varying degrees and landing on a 2-9 will cause what you don't want to happen via varying degrees, both depending on how high or low the number is.

For example:

If I want 1 mil dollars and I roll a 20, I get a mil dollars. If I roll a 1, I am 1 mil in debt. Landing a 5 means 500k debt, landing a 10 means I don't gain or lose money, and landing a 15 means I gain 500k.

Oh and you cannot probability manipulate the dice. If you lose or break it or give it up, then you're basically just a regular dude again (it will not reverse what you've previously done with it). And pretty much anyone can use it, it just so happens that you're the one to have it.

precise control of a swarm of exactly 238493748 spiders

Granted, you have precise control of a swarm of exactly that many spiders. Precise control. That means you can control each individual spider in that swarm, and while you are technically able to control upwards of 238493748 spiders at a time, it would basically require you to multitask on 238493748 different tasks.

Oh and if you fail the spiders you aren't controlling turn on you.

would be actually doable, is there a range from how far away i can control them

No, you'd just need to be able to see them. It could be with a camera for all the hypothetical cares.

so if i just go to like the moon or something and use a camera mounted on each individual spider and ill be completely fine while i can let the spiders do whatever i want?

That would be theoretically feasible, yes.

would it be possible to do the silly by releasing them into some random dude's house theoretically

Sure

a superpower

a drawback

Instant kill

On command

You can only instant kill on command by saying their first name with intent to kill them. However, if you do, then everyone who shares that first name also dies.

For example, if you were to use your instant kill ability on some guy named Dave, then all Daves in the world also die.

Oh yikes ok

I WILL find a workaround for this

The power of saying no.

People will not always respect your best wishes

i can toast bread on my nose

You have a runny nose pretty much all the time

how can a screen be runny

I become link

chainlink

You can only become a version of Link depicted by a Rule 34 artist of random choosing, and you can't turn back.

no but he didnt specify which type of link so what if he just becomes a chainlink

You're not wrong, but it's still definitely a creative drawback imo, so I'm keeping it.

ok ts boutta be good

What have I done...