confessions /// stay strong

ending your own life is the chickening out

Exactly. Can't let the haters win

that's the only thought keeping me away from doing the chickening out btw

But life is gonna be great when you win

Not to rat myself out or vent but I don’t think you get the full picture. There is no one to “cut off.” No person is giving me negative emotions. It is just me and my own actions. If I started cutting people off, I would have to drop out of college. I think my brain is just that f**ked into thinking every social interaction will inevitably produce a result where the person I’m conversing with hates me at some point and will try to ruin my life. I find myself too annoying when talking to other people. One minor inconvenience or mistake sends me into a spiral.

I sometimes have that problem where every person I know or become friends with will eventually hate me. So I tend to act fake around other people or with how I text or things like that. But out of everyone that I know, there are a for people who love me for my real self and they've stuck with me for the years, and they are some of my best friends. So the more interactions that you do have, the more likely it is to pay off with these circumstances. The more likely you are to find people that like your authentic self. I would keep looking trying with people, and also pray to God for help.