who tf turned my computer into windows 8

what version were you runing before?

5 of them
windows 2000 xp 7 2008 r2 and 11

Get a program called "open shell" and install it.

It will make the start menu like the Windows 7 one. And you can really customize it, and even make it look like the Windows XP or Windows 2000 start menu.

theres also classic shell but i dont mind the loss of a start menu

Open shell is the updated version of classic shell. It's made by the same person as well. I HIGHLY recommend it for windows 8 and 8.1 users. I have windows 8.1 with open shell and it's now pretty much just windows 7.

yeah the biggest gripe people have with 8 is the tiles and no start menu, its too different from windows 7. me personally, i dont think its that bad