wake up from the nightmare

HE DID IT

go to the hospital

the humble hospital:

Call an ambulance, obbiously

Go to the hospital

Rip off my pant leg and use it as a makeshift bandage

Then run away and hope for the best

Eat it

Is that a

Die

Summon a healing alchemist

use my shirt and a stick to make a tourniquet
dig out the bullet if it's lodged
use willow bark to prevent infection
hunt so i get high protein/organ meats for healing
try to retain mobility and flexibility

Slap my belly like the gassy person I am