Goku Black

I'm so f**king tired. I can barely get out of bed anymore and it's pissing me the f**k off. I'm tired of being tired and it's making me sick. I'm tired of being tired and sick of being sick and sick of being tired and tired of being sick. I don't mean coughing and puking and running a fever sick, I mean mentally sick. Why the f**k did I get to have everything going near perfect for me and then it all comes crashing down because of my shitty mental state? I have good genes, decent looks, I'm pretty smart, I could have a lot of irl friends right now, but no, I can't, because the universe blessed me with an abysmal mental state, now I can barely get out of bed and so I don't exercise and I have horrible hygiene and my intelligence that I could use is just wasted on my own rambling. I'm so f**king tired of this. I don't even f**king care about being loved anymore. I don't even want to be normal. I just want this to f**king end. I don't want to die but at the same time I'm so tired of being alive. The f**king school system is making me worse too. For f**k's sake, I'm a kid. I shouldn't have to deal with ANY of this bullshit. I should only be worried about homework and cartoons. But nooo, I can't be normal, I have to worry about things like hallucinations or 'delusions' or thoughts about not wanting to be alive anymore. Of f**king course I do. Why the f**k wouldn't I? It feels like f**king everyone hates me for no reason and I'm so tired of feeling like this. I can't even make friends because I'm so scared of judgement. Even when I do make friends I end up losing them because I'm a f**king dumbass and my brain makes me lash out at them because I never had friends so I'm not used to it so my brain decides to get rid of them in case it's something bad. This is pissing me off so much but I can't do anything about it but sit back and watch myself get worse. F**k this. I'm f**king tired of this go***mn bullshit.