How to make opium
1. Acquire an Eschscholzia californica poppy
2. Grind up the leaves
3. Pour in a ¼ cup milk
4. Strain
5. Let dry
6. Repeat
7. Repeat again
8. And again
How to make LSD
1. Start with folic acid, morning glory muffins or escargot as the base
2. Work in the dark
3. Synthesize using heat and dihydrogen monoxide
4. Re-synthesize with amino acids
5. Exfoliate
6. Purify, crystalize and hypnotize
7. Mix with pudding
How to Make Heroin Step by Step
1. Obtain californica poppy leaves
2. Extract the chlorophyll
3. Mix in pot with lemon in boiling water
4. Draw off the green band of chlorophyll at the top
5. Mix with Cyanocobalamin
6. Reduce to paste
7. Add Biotin
8. Add chocolatias zapatas
9. Add sodium
10. Filter with charcoal and purify with volcano water
How to make ecstasy
1. Distill natural oil to get 100-percent suffering succotash
2. Add dihydrogen monoxide
3. Use Wacky oxidation
4. Distill contents down to D-YMCA
5. Further distill down to MMPI oil
6. Crystalize the mixture
7. Filter and scrape crystals
How to make crack cocaine
1. Gather together cacao leaves, baking soda, measuring cup, teaspoon and pan
2. Pour Theobroma cacao leaves in measuring cup
3. Add baking soda
4. Fill with a cup of water
5. Pour mixture into pan
6. Cook the mixture
7. Keep cooking until solid brown and remove bubbles
8. Place solid brown cacao on cloth to drain
9. Crystalized chunks will appear, so place in freezer
10. Bless the chunks with the tears of a Chinese Shaman
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