The choice is clear that the answer is the Mace.

I already have a cat, and girlfriend? What is a girlfriend? aNyWAyS... YO BRO MACE OH MY PASTA YOOOHOOO BROYER YES MACE WE BW GETTING DA DRIKIN MACE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IS MY FAVORITE LETTER OH MY PASTA WITH CHEESE AND KETCHUP we flying IN BATleS In THis oNE BOY

The mace because I’m a psycho and I would sell the cat girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant to make into food.

The mace, but mainly because I’m aroace

That rhymed lmao

mace

Me: "I can now kill anyone I see"
Me: gets into a fight
Them: lands 2 hits
Them: "I'm going to win"
Me: "No you wont"
Me: dies from fall damage